Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Woman Need To Look Into The Law Of Resonance If She Ends Up With Mother-Enmeshed Men?
After having been with a number of men who were overly focused on their mother’s needs and were not available, a woman could believe that she is unlucky. This can partly be because of how different she is likely to be from these men.
Unlike these men, she is unlikely to be focused on one of her parents and will be ready to have a relationship. Thus, she will have been with men who were not ready to commit but she will be in a position to do so.
Additionally, this could be something that her friends mirror back, with them having said, on a number of occasions and in one way or another, that she is not the problem. They may have told her that there is nothing wrong with her and that her luck will soon change.
This could show that these people are in loving relationships or some of them could be and some of them could be single. Most likely, she will appreciate their love and support.
However, even though it may seem as if she is radically different to these men, what if there is far more to it? Upon hearing this, she could say that this is not true and she could get angry.
For example, she could say that she is ready to have a relationship and that none of the men that she has been with have been. Furthermore, she could say that she is not focused on her mother or father.
But, even if this is true, what needs to be acknowledged at this point is that she doesn’t begin and end with her conscious mind. Therefore, although one part of her can be ready to have a relationship, it doesn’t mean that every other part of her is.
And, not only is there more to her than her conscious mind or conscious sense of herself, this part of her is not as powerful as other parts of her. These other parts will be held inside her unconscious mind.
Together, what is taking place at a conscious and unconscious level defines what is going on for her at an energetic level. As airy-fairy as this may sound, she, along with everyone and everything else, is made up of vibrating energy.
For her to come into contact with someone, attain something or experience something, she needs to be energetically aligned with that person, thing or experience. If she is not energetically aligned with someone, something or an experience, then, it won’t be part of her reality.
This is something that is called the Law of Resonance. What this illustrates is that there is nothing random when it comes to what she does or doesn’t experience; it is not random.
With this in mind, as she has attracted a number of men who were not available, it shows that part of her is energetically aligned with these men. Or, to be more precise, is energetically aligned to these experiences that she has had.
A Key Distinction
What this comes down to is that due to what is going on for her, it probably wouldn’t matter where she lived as she would have the same experiences. This is why it will be a waste of time and a distraction for her to purely focus on and try to understand the men that she has been with.
Ultimately, these men are simply mirroring back parts of herself; nothing more, nothing less. So, to purely focus on them and their issues, as natural as this is, takes her away from what will truly allow her to change her life - changing herself.
A Different Vibration
For her to understand why she is an energetic match for these types of men, what she can do is look into how she felt when she was with them. What she could soon find is that she typically felt ignored, frustrated, angry, helpless, hopeless, rejected, abandoned, and deeply hurt.
In all likelihood, these feelings were already inside her and were not simply caused by these men. If this is the case, there is a strong chance that this is how she often felt throughout her formative years.
Back In Time
What is taking place in this area of her life will then be a continuation of what it was like for her as a child. Both her mother and/or father may have been emotionally unavailable and unable to be there for her.
This would have meant that a number of her developmental needs were rarely if ever met and this would have caused her to experience a lot of pain. These needs and the pain she was in would have been repressed but this material wouldn’t have disappeared.
Both of these elements, her unmet developmental needs and the pain, will have influenced what is now going on for her at an energetic level. Also, at a deeper level, she will have the need to recreate her early depriving experiences so that she will finally be loved.
This will have simply caused her, as she will be only too aware of, to be drawn to men who are just as unavailable as her mother and/or father. She will then have repeated her past and suffered all over again.
Drawing the line
This other part of her has no sense of time and is blind, which is why it is still trying to receive something that wasn’t available then and is not available now. For her to gradually put her past behind her, she is likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience.
This process is likely to be more painful than it is for her to be with a man who is not available but unlike the pain that she experiences by being with a man who is not available, this pain won’t last forever. It will also allow her to change what is taking place for her at an energetic level and to no longer be a match with men who are not available.
If a woman can relate to this and she is ready to change her life, she may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.