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If a woman has been in a number of relationships where the man was overly focused on his mother’s needs, she could be ready to turn her back on this area of her life. She might believe that it is better for her to stay single.
She is simply not going to want to be with another man who is like this. But, considering what she will have gone through by being with men who are like this, this is not going to be much of a surprise. A Tough Time If she was to think back to when she was with a man like this, she could soon experience a number of negative feelings. She could feel frustrated, angry, worthless, and unloved. But, if she has just been with a man like this, she might not need to think about her last relationship in order to be weighed down with negativity. If she has, she could feel pretty washed out. An Important Time As a result of what she has been through, she might need time to find herself again. When she was with the man, she might have done so much for him and received so little, that she more or less lost touch with herself. She would then have overextended herself and will need to reconnect to her own needs and feelings. This is something that could take many, many months but it will be a key part of what will allow her to move forward. Another Part Additionally, it will be important for her to go back to doing what she used to do before she ended up being focused on the man that she was with. These will be things that make her who she is and can’t simply be put to one side. So, by doing these things and taking care of her needs, she is likely to soon be able to find her feet. Spending time with trusted friends and perhaps family will also play a key part in this. Going Deeper Once she has started to settle down again and get back on track, she might wonder why she has been with so many men who are like this. Along with this, a big part of her could believe that there is no reason for her life to be this way. What this could come down to is that she could have a lot to offer and a number of areas of her life could be going well. If this is the case, she will be in a good place and then she will end up with a man who is not and gradually end up being undermined by him. One Outcome Consequently, she could come to the conclusion that while she has control in other areas of her life, she doesn’t have much control in this area. When it comes to this area, then, she will be unlucky. She will randomly end up with men who are like this and will need to rely on luck for this area of her life to change. However, what if she is not merely unlucky and there is a reason why this area of her life is the way that it is? A Different Angle What needs to be acknowledged at this stage is that although her mind will create the impression that she is merely an observer of reality and thus, just happens to come into contact with certain men, this is not the truth. In reality, she is both an observer and a co-creator of her reality and this means that there is nothing random when it comes to the men that she is drawn to. When it comes to what defines who she is drawn to, it will be what is held inside her own consciousness. What is held inside her consciousness will then define who she is attracted to and who she will repel. The Other Part Therefore, although her mind will create the impression that she is separate from others, this will be an illusion. She is not separate from anyone or anything and this is why what is going on side her has an effect on how she experiences life. With this in mind, if there wasn’t something going on inside her own consciousness that is in alignment with what is going on for a man who is emotionally entangled with his mother, she wouldn’t be pulled to these men and they wouldn’t be pulled to her either. This means that even though there are differences between her and the men she has ended up with, there are also similarities. Two Levels When it comes to what makes up her consciousness, it will relate to what is held inside her conscious mind and her unconscious mind. This will include her thoughts, emotions, feelings and beliefs. And, when it comes to her unconscious mind, this part of her is far bigger and stronger than her conscious mind. Furthermore, it will contain repressed feelings, adult and unmet developmental needs and parts of herself that she has rejected. Self-Knowledge For her to find out why she has been drawn to and draws these types of men in, then, it will be a good idea for her to explore her unconscious mind. One way for her to do this will be for her to look into what her early years were like. By doing this, she is likely to find that the men that she has been drawn to are wounded and she is also wounded. These men will have been deprived during their early years and she will have also been deprived. Awareness If a woman can relate to this and she is ready to change her life, she may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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