Mother Wounds: Can A Man See Women As His Enemies If He Had A Cruel Mother?

What a man may find, if he was to step back and reflect on his life, is that he doesn’t have a very positive view of women. He could see that he largely sees them as people who are against him and want to cause him problems.

As a result of this, he could do his best to keep his distance and only spend time with them when he has to. Along with this, if he ever experiences the desire for female company, he could see this as a time when he needs to act in a calculated manner.

External Support

When it comes to how he largely sees women, it is not going to be hard for him to find men who also have the same view. The only thing that he will need to do is to go onto a social media site.

Once he is there, he is likely to soon come across a lot of men who are the same. This could be a time when there are a number of men who say, in one way or another that women are not on their side.

For Example

So, a number of men could say that women only want them for their money and, if a man gets married to a woman, she will soon leave him and take everything that she can. This could be backed up by the fact that these men have had this experience at least once.

Additionally, some could talk about the men who have been falsely accused of rape and had their lives destroyed in the process. A woman is then not going to be a being who a man can open up to and love; she will be a being who needs to be kept at a distance and watched at all times.

Suspicious

Now, it could be said that after viewing this type of information, it is to be expected that a man would develop a deep mistrust of women. This information is then going to be a ‘problem’ and something that needs to be censored if not banned.

However, another way of looking at it would be to say that a deep sense of mistrust is already going to be there for a man like this as well as those who express such views. And, if he, along with these men, has had experiences where he has been taken advantage of, why wouldn’t he be this way?

Looking Back

When he thinks about the experiences that he has had with women, then, he could see that he has been with a number of women who have been anything but loving. These may have been women who were manipulative, lacked empathy, were withholding and even physically and/or verbally abusive.

Each time, the woman may have come across as charming and loving but, as time passed; she would have soon turned into a monster. Yet, although she would have changed, he might not have been able to cut his ties with her straight away.

A Rough Ride

It might have been as though he was being dragged through hell and unable to do anything about what was going on. In some, if not all of the relationships that he has been in, he would have been undermined and soon felt totally exhausted.

Furthermore, there is a chance that in each of these situations, he kept what was going on to himself and didn’t tell anyone in his life. Shame and the fear of being humiliated and seen as being weak may have been behind this.

A Deeper Look

Now, while he and many other men can believe that this is just what most if not all women are like, what if there is more to it? What if he continually meets women who are antagonistic and ends up with women like this because of what is taking place inside him?

What if the experiences that he had during his early years with his own mother, set him up to experience life in this way? If so, this could show that his mother was not very loving and deeply wounded him.

The Foundations Were Laid

This would have meant that his mother was anything but maternal and is likely to have lacked empathy, warmth and the ability to see him as a valuable and lovable human being that had needs and feelings. Throughout this stage of his life, he may have been verbally and physically abused and abandoned by her.

The trouble is that as he was egocentric, he would have personalised what took place, which would have caused him to believe that there was something inherently wrong with him and that if he behaved in the right way, he would finally be loved by her as it would have been too painful to him to accept that his mother simply couldn’t love him. Due to how he was treated he would have experienced a lot of pain and a number of his developmental needs wouldn’t have been met.

The Outcome

Many, many years will have passed since this key stage of his life but he will still carry most if not all of the pain and the unmet developmental needs that he had to repress. Consequently, he will unconsciously be pulled to women who are like his mother so that he can finally be loved by his mother.

Of course, these women are not his mother and this stage of his life is over but, thanks to unconsciously projecting his mother onto certain women – women who are likely to be deeply wounded - a big part of him will continue to struggle for the love that he missed out on all those years ago. For him to truly put the past behind him, he is likely to have a lot of pain to work through and unmet developmental needs to experience.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

---

If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.
• Consultations.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk