If a man was to think about what his relationships have been like with women over the years, he may find that they have generally been good. On the other hand, he may find that this has been a challenging area of his life.
This could be an area of his life that been full of conflict for as long as he can remember. As a result of what has been taking place in this area of his life, it is likely that other areas of his life have also been negatively impacted.
The difference between other areas of his life and this area, though, is that he might not believe that there is a lot that he can do to change it. It could seem as though women are just a certain way.
So, if he wants to have a fulfilling relationship with a woman, it is going to be more or less impossible for him to make this into a reality. Or, if he does have one, he will just have to put up with a lot of things that he doesn’t like.
If he has this outlook, it will show that he doesn’t believe that he has much control when it comes to this area of his life. Women will just behave a certain way and he will just come into contact with a certain type.
Due to this outlook, if he wants to be in a harmonious relationship with a woman, he could believe that he will need to use different techniques. Through manipulating her behaviour, he will be able to have the type of relationship that he wants.
When it comes to the type of women that he has come into contact with over the years, he may find that there are certain types of behaviour that have continually appeared. He may have often come into contact with women that were cold, critical and lacked empathy, or perhaps it has been women who were both emotionally unavailable and undeveloped.
There could be a number of other behaviours and traits that have continually appeared. At times, it may have even seemed as if everyone woman on the planet was out to make his life more difficult.
His First Model
If he was to take a step back from the experiences that he has had with women over the years and to think about what his relationship is like with his mother, he might not feel too good. This could show that he doesn’t have a good relationship with her and this could be how it has pretty much always been.
Alternatively, he might not have a good relationship with her, and might never have had a good relationship her, but he could experience good feelings. This is likely to illustrate that he is unable to acknowledge how he truly feels about her.
Time Has Passed
Nonetheless, he could believe that what took place when he was younger, and the type of relationship he now has with his mother, has absolutely nothing to do with the types of experiences or relationships that he has with women. What happened could be seen as being in the past and that could be the end of it.
What took place in the past may very well be over, however, that doesn’t mean that he has actually been able to put the past behind him. There is a strong chance that what took place left him with a number of limiting beliefs and emotional wounds.
An Active Participator
Ultimately, he is not simply observing reality; what he does or doesn’t experience is a reflection of what is taking place inside him. Therefore, if something keeps showing up, he will need to take a step back and to reflect on why this would be.
This is not a time when he needs to shame or blame himself; it is simply about becoming aware of what is going on and taking the necessary steps. The purpose of this is to resolve what needs to be resolved, so that he can transform his life.
Back In Time
During his early years, his mother may have generally lacked love and been critical. This would have meant that she wasn’t emotionally available and able to give him the love that he needed in order to develop.
If this wasn’t the case, it may have meant that his mother was rarely around during this time. Regardless of what took place, it would have had an impact on how he saw himself and women in general.
Recycling The Past
It wouldn’t have mattered that how his mother treated him had nothing to do with his value as he was egocentric, and, it also wouldn’t have mattered that his mother didn’t represent all women as his ego-mind would have come to associate what took place as what women are like. This is how the ego-mind works; it makes the particular into the general.
Furthermore, to the ego-mind, what took place will be familiar and what is familiar is classed as what is safe. Ones early years wouldn’t have been very nurturing, but as what took place will be classed as what is safe, having similar experiences will feel comfortable at a deeper level.
To move on from what took place and to put the past finally behind him, he will most likely need to question what he believes and to resolve his emotional wounds. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.