When it comes to whether or not someone is in a good place mentally and emotionally, how motivated they are is often taken into account. Therefore, if someone is highly motivated, they can be seen as being in a good way.
Someone like this can relentlessly move towards their goals, finding it hard to just sit still and to just be. Relaxing and just being could be seen as a complete waste of time; time that they could be using to move forward.
There could be numerous people in their life who shower them with approval and tell them how much they admire them. Along with these kinds of people, there could be a number of people in their life who are the same.
But, even if they didn’t have many people in their life who give them approval, society as a whole is likely to validate them. For example, there will be adverts and numerous books that support this way of experiencing life.
All the Trappings of Success
Thank to how hard they work, they may have all the things that are typically associated with success. They may have a flashy car, a big house, holidays abroad, a load of money in the bank and expensive clothes.
Then again, it might not be this black and white, but they could still be doing very well. It might not matter how much they achieve, though, as they could struggle to enjoy anything.
A Clear Sign
Now, how they behave could show that they value themselves and are committed to living a life that is worth living. Perhaps there was a time when they were not really motivated and, after working on themselves, this all changed.
They are then going to be an example of how someone will behave when they are in a good place internally. There is also the chance that there is more to how they behave than meets the eye.
A Different Fuel Source
One might not be highly motivated because they are in a good place and simply value themselves; they could be highly motivated because they want to be affirmed by others and don’t value themselves. They could have a storing need to be validated by men or women or both.
This may illustrate that they didn’t receive the positive feedback that they needed during their early years in order to develop a strong sense of self. Still, now that they are an adult, they might not even be aware of what is motivating them.
If they were asked to explain why they are highly motivated, they could say that this is just how they are. Also, they could say that they want to live a good life and without motivation, this wouldn’t happen.
This will show that they are not aware of what is taking place at a deeper level. Ultimately, the energy within them and their behaviour will serve a defence that stops them from coming into contact with the pain that is held in their body.
An Endless Battle
The trouble is that as they carry the pain of not being affirmed as a child, it won’t matter how much approval they receive from others. All this approval can do is allow them to suppress how they truly feel.
This is why they will need to stay motivated and to continually achieve things or else how they truly feel will end up breaking into their conscious mind. So, whether one realises it or not, they are going to be trying to receive what they were unable to receive as a child.
A Human Doing
If they do find it hard to just be and to relax, it will be clear as to why this is. Not only could this cause them to come into contact with their true feelings, it could also result in them feeling worthless
As they didn’t receive the affirmation what they needed as a child, it would have prevented them from developing a felt sense of self-worth and self-love. For them to truly just be, they would need to be in touch with their own value and to have developed a felt sense of self-love.
Considering this, if they were to get in touch with their own pain and to work through it, they would probably find that they lose some of their motivation. Through dealing with their own inner wounds and developing a felt sense of self-worth and self-love, they will no longer need other people to affirm them.
They will be able to affirm themselves and, when they do want to achieve something, it will no longer be coming from the wounded part of them. This can mean that they won’t work as hard but this doesn’t mean that they won’t do as well as they did before; in fact, they might even do better
Taking Their hands of the Reins
The reason for this is that they will be coming from a completely different place internally and their reality will mirror this back. They will value themselves and feel comfortable in their own skin, which will allow things to happen without them needing to do as much as they did before.
In other words, as they won’t have the same level of attachment and will use less will power, it will allow the universe to play its part. This will mean that their ego-mind will no longer need to do as much as it did before.
If one can relate to this, and they want to heal their inner wounds, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.