Moving Forward: Is The Fear Of Being Abandoned Stopping You From Moving Forward?

It could be said that human beings have an inherent need to grow and to move forward in life. And what one person sees as being a sign of growth is not necessarily what another person sees as a sign of growth.

But while there are going to be differences, what most people are going to agree upon is that growth is important. It is possible for one to have one area of their life where growth is important, or they could have number of areas.

There is also the chance that it will depend on where are they are in life and what’s important to them at any given moment. What was important at one point time might not be seen as important at another.

Priorities

So this then comes down to the fact that one’s priorities are not always going to be the same and therefore, what they are focused on is going to change. This is partly because one only has so much time and energy and there are going to be things that one has to stop doing.

After a short while, one might be able to focus on something they had put to one side. At the same time, once something has been out to one side one might leave it there and never go back to it.

Point Of Focus

However, when it comes to an area of their life where they want grow and to move forward, they are not going to want to stand still. The time, energy, and even the money that goes into this area, goes into it for a reason; with the reason being that it is an important area of one’s life.

But just because one wants to move forward and to grow in a certain area of their life or a number of areas, it doesn’t mean this is what takes place. Instead, one could find themselves in a position where they‘re unable to move forward or grow.

Same Old Story

This doesn’t mean that one hasn’t experienced life differently or been close to the next step. As they might have a pattern of being close and then just as they’re about to move forward, something happens and they end up where they started.

One could see see themselves as being unlucky or believe that they haven’t got what it takes to move forward. It is then not much of a surprise if one feels like a victim and as though other people have something they don’t.

Inaction

Another thing that can happen is that although one wants to move forward, they don’t take the action they need to move forward. Their mind is then saying one thing, and their body is saying something else.

This shows that one is experiencing inner conflict and instead of working with themselves, they are working against themselves. So in this case, one is able to see that they are the problem, but in the example above, they could believe that other people are the problem

Self-Sabotage

It is then not as easy as one wanting to move forward and then moving forward, as there is something within them that is holding them back. And until this inner conflict is dealt with, one could find that their life doesn’t change.

The question is: why would someone sabotage their own growth and stop themselves from having what they say they want? One’s mind might find it hard to answer this question, but if one listens to their body, the answer may soon appear.

The Body

Just because one wants to achieve something, it doesn’t mean their body is going to let it happen. What this means is that in order for one to experience something, they need to feel that it is safe for them to experience it.

If what they want to experience is seen as something that will put their survival at risk, there is a strong chance that one won’t be able to experience it. So without realising, it, one can end up doing everything they can to stop themselves from moving forward.

What’s Going On?

This is not to say that one’s body doesn’t feel safe because of what is currently taking place in their life; it could because of what they are projecting onto the present from their past. And this could relate to a time when it wasn’t safe for one to take care of their needs.

And while times have changed, the emotional experiences of the past have stayed trapped in their body. So whenever one puts their needs first and does what they can to get them met, what would have happened if they showed their needs in the past is re-triggered and stops them from moving forward.

Abandoned

At a deeper level, putting their needs first could be associated as something that will lead to being abandoned. As a result of this, if one was to get their needs met it could put their survival at risk.

These associations were probably formed during ones childhood years, and being abandoned during this time would have felt like death. So as the emotional experiences of the past have remained within them, getting their needs met is going to be seen as something that isn’t safe.

Awareness

And if the fear of being abandoned is something that one fears at a deeper level, it is going to be important for them to please others. Moving forward and fulfil ones needs is then going to be seen as something that could lead to the loss of approval and therefore death.

As an adult, gaining the approval of others is not as important, but all the time the emotional experiences of the past remain in their body, it is going to be a challenge for them to see life through their adult eyes. These emotional experiences of the past will need to be faced and released. And this can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/