Nowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to talk about how they are with or were with someone who is a narcissist. Conversely, they could say that social media is full of people that are like this.
Furthermore, are also numerous videos and books that go into how to handle someone who is like this. So, with so much being said about these types of people, it can seem as though the world is full of them.
In order for someone to be labelled as a narcissist, there are going to be a number of traits that they will need to have. At the same time, someone could still be seen in this way even if they were only to display one of these traits every now and then.
What this comes down to is that this is a term that is freely thrown around in today’s world, with it being used for a variety of reasons. At times, it can be used because someone doesn’t like how another person is behaving, not because another person is doing anything wrong.
The Main Point
When someone is a narcissist, then, they are likely to be self-centred and see themselves as the centre of the universe, to see themselves as superior to others, believe that they are entitled to whatever they want, lack empathy, to be manipulative and controlling, have a strong need for admiration, and have difficulty taking feedback.
To be around someone who continually displays these traits is going to be hard, and one is likely to end up in a bad way if stay around someone like this for a long period of time. In the beginning, they can be full of life and energy and, as time passes, it can be as though they have been sucked dry of both life and energy.
An Important Mission
After having been through at least one relationship with someone who is like this, someone can end up feeling called to inform others about what a narcissist is like and how they can recover from narcissistic abuse. Someone like this will know what a narcissist is like and is unlikely to simply throw this term around for no reason.
In the past, with their being less information available on this topic, it would have been a lot harder for someone to know what was going on when they met a narcissist and how to cut their ties with them. Therefore, the people who have been there and have come through it are providing a very important service.
Stealing the Light
Due to how these types of people behave and the harm that they often cause, it is to be expected that they would receive a lot of attention. Unfortunately for them, it is not the kind of attention that they like to receive.
Now, with so much attention being directed towards people who behave in this way, it has meant that those who have a very different way of behaving often go unnoticed. These are people that are often not in a good way but, thanks to how they behave, it is not as easy to spot.
A Miserable Existence
It would be easy to say that someone like this is what is often know as an ‘empath’, yet there is far more to it than this. Someone like this may well be able to feel the emotions of others but their life is going to be anything but fulfilling.
Furthermore, they may be used to spending time with people that tick all the boxes when it comes to being a narcissist. Then again, they might not have anyone in their life that could be described in this way.
A Closer Look
If there was a label for someone like this, it could be something like ‘the invisible person’ or ‘the person that is seen but not seen’. The reason for this is that unlike the narcissist, they can disregard their own needs and have no sense of their own existence.
They can come across as selfless, with this being seen as a good thing, even though they will be neglecting themselves. As for their existence, they will have a physical body but they can feel as though they are not really here and have no effect on their life.
It Goes On
They won’t see themselves as being superior to others either; if anything, they will see themselves as being inferior. And while they will have as much right as anyone else to be here, they can believe that they are not entitled to anything; meaning that they won’t have a healthy sense of entitlement.
What they can have a lot of is empathy but trying to control or manipulate others might not appeal to them. Admiration or anything that would cause them to receive attention can be something that they do their best to avoid.
Like the narcissistic, however, receiving criticism could be hard due to how insecure they are. From the outside, it is clear that these types of people are very different, yet that doesn’t mean that they don’t have anything in common.
Regardless of whether one is a narcissistic or someone who is seen but not seen, there is the chance that they had a traumatic childhood. Most likely, the love, care and attention that they needed to be able to develop in the right way weren’t provided.
This would have stopped them from being able to develop a strong sense of self and to become a well-adjusted adult. What is different, though, is that if one does their best to stay out of the limelight, they are more likely to do something about how they experience life.
Someone like this can be more likely to self-reflect and to take responsibility for what happens to them. Due to this, they can end up reaching out for the support that they need to gradually change their life.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.