Needs: Does Someone Need To Feel Safe In Order To Fulfil Their Own Needs?

Being happy is often seen as the purpose of life, and this means that a lot of people want to experience life in this way. Therefore, if someone is unhappy, they can feel compelled to find a way to be happy.

Now, this could mean that they will come to believe that they will be happy once they have attained or achieved something. And, after this takes place, they will finally be able to live a life that is worth living.

On the Outside

It is then going to be as though one is out in the cold and, once they are allowed into a warm building, it will be different. Perhaps one could believe that they will be happy when they finally get their dream job.

Alternatively, they could believe that this will be how they feel when they meet the person of their dreams. Either way, something ‘out there’ will have the power to control how they feel in life.

Back to Reality

If one was able to get their dream job or to find their ideal partner, they might feel happy for a little while, but it probably won’t last. What this comes down to is that sooner or later, their mind will adapt to what is taking place.

As a result of this, it will need something else create the same emotional experience that one had when they first experienced something. This is then no different to how one can enjoy eating a certain type of food, yet if they were to eat the same thing every day, they would soon lose interest.

A Game that Can’t Be Won

With this in mind, it is going to be clear that one will need to have a different approach if they want to be happy. If they don’t, they are dong to waste a lot of time and energy, and they are going to experience a lot of anger and frustration.

What they want will always be out of their reach; it will be like running towards the end of a rainbow to collect the treasure. No matter how far they run, they won’t be able to achieve their desired outcome.

Another Way

Instead of looking outside for happiness, one could look into what is stopping them from being able to embrace the present moment. As if they were able to do this, they wouldn’t need to be attached to the future.

This doesn’t mean that they can’t have goals; what it means is that they won’t be so caught up in future that it causes them to overlook their point of power – the present moment. After all, it is what they do in this moment that will have the biggest effect on what will happen later on.

A Closer Look

It is then going to be a good idea for them to look into why their life is not very fulfilling. What this could show is that they are in a lot of pain, or maybe they feel as though they have no control over their life.

If they are in pain, they could look into what is going on and then to reach out for the right assistance. For example, if one feels sad, they might need to work with a therapist or some kind of healer.

Disempowered

On the other hand, if they feel as though they have no effect on their reality, it is going to make it difficult for them to fulfil their needs. And, if they can’t fulfil their needs, they are not going to be able to listen to their true-self.

Instead, they will have to live a life that doesn’t reflect on they are; it will be as though they are an extension of others. Living life in this way is going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing.

On the Wrong Track

Through experiencing life in this way, it can make their life unbearable, and it is then going to be normal for them to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, as well as being caught up in what happened in the past. It can be as though they are on one side of the spectrum and in the future, they will be on the other.

However, if they listened to their own needs and did what they could to fulfil them, they would probably feel empowered. This doesn’t mean that they will always be full of joy and gratitude, but they will be living a meaningful life.

A Big Difference

When one lives a life that is deeply meaningful and they are on the right track, their need to be happy all the time is likely to disappear; in fact, they might not even think about being happy any longer. What they do will be deeply enriching, so enriching that it will make it easier for them will go along with whatever happens.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that it will be as if they are eating a cake that is so nourishing that they don’t care about if it has icing on the top or not. The icing, like happiness, will pale in comparison to the real cake, or a life of meaning.

Two Things

In order to experience life in this way, they will not only need to be in touch with their needs, they will also need to feel safe enough to fulfil them. Being in touch with them is one thing, but it is another thing altogether to do something about them.

If one was to find that they don’t feel as though it is safe for them to assert themselves and to go after what it is they desire, it could show that they are carrying trauma. Their sense of safety will have been undermined and this will have an effect on their ability to act like an individual.

Awareness

There is the chance that one has been this way for a long as they can remember, and this could show that they were abused and/or neglected when they were younger. This would have been a time when it wasn’t safe for them to exist and, although they are no longer a child, they will still be responding to life in the same way.

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external assistance. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk