Irrespective of whether someone is into self-development, they will probably be familiar with the term ‘negative’ feelings. In fact, they may even describe some of their own feelings in this way.
If this is the case, it will mean that some of their feelings will be seen as ‘positive’ and some of them will be seen as ‘negative’. Through seeing them in this way, they may generally see their ‘negative’ feelings as a problem.
When it comes to ‘negative’ feelings, this will relate to: shame, guilt, sadness, fear and despair. If ever they experience one or a number of these feelings, they are going to feel bad.
On the other hand, when it comes to ‘positive’ feelings, this will relate to: joy, hope, optimism and happiness. If ever they experience one or more of these feelings, they are going to feel good.
Out of Balance
Now, it could be said that it is not going to be possible for one to always experience ‘positive’ feelings; this is just not how life works. Also, if they did always experience these kinds of feelings, they would soon get used to them, causing them to lose their effect.
In other words, it is through being able to experience both sides of the emotional spectrum that one will be able to appreciate the ‘positive’ side. The other part of this is that their feelings are there to provide them with valuable feedback and are, therefore, neither negative nor positive.
In A Bad Way
But, with that aside for the time being, if one experiences a lot of ‘negative’ feelings, it is going to be a challenge for them to appreciate the life that they have been given. As a result of this, it will be essential for them to reach out for support.
If they don’t do this and just carry on as they are, their life could end up getting even worse. The first step, of course, will be for them to realise that something isn’t right, as if they don't get to this point, there will be no reason for them to do anything about their life.
Numbing the Pain
Or, if they do do something to change their life, they could end up doing more harm than good. Ergo, through not being able to step back and to see that they need help, they could end up taking or drinking something, for instance.
This will allow them to feel better but what it won’t do is resolve what is going on for them. Through external means, then, they will simply be denying how they really feel.
The next step
If one is able to take a step back and to reach out for support, they could end up looking online. This could be a time when they will learn that they need to change their ‘negative’ thoughts.
The reason for this is that their ‘negative’ thoughts will be seen as the reason why they have ‘negative’ feelings. Thus, by changing the thoughts that they have, they will be able to experience more ‘positive’ feelings.
With this in mind, the next step will be for them to pay close attention to how they talk to themselves and to begin replacing their ‘negative’ thoughts with ‘positive’ thoughts. Naturally, this is not going to happen straight away.
The key will be for them to be both mindful and diligent, and, as time goes by, they will be rewarded for the time and effort that they put into this area of their life. As the days and weeks by, they should start to experience more ‘positive’ feelings.
The above approach may or may not work and, even if it does, it might not last. If it doesn’t work or just doesn’t last, one could believe that they need to keep going, believing that they need to be patient.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that there is a good reason why this approach won’t really work and that’s because their ‘negative’ feelings are not solely being caused by their thoughts. However, if one has come to believe that their thoughts create their feelings, something that is nothing more than a half-truth, it might be hard for them to accept this.
Going Deeper, Way Deeper
Coming back to what was said above about one’s feelings providing them with valuable feedback, what needs to be looked into is why they would be having these so-called ‘negative’ feelings. Firstly, there is a strong chance that their thoughts are triggering feelings that are already held inside them.
Secondly, the feelings that they see as being ‘negative’ probably go back to a time in their life when they were being harmed or neglected. What this means is that although these feelings are seen as ‘negative’ now, there would have been a time when they merely reflected reality.
Connecting the Dots
The trouble is that as so many years may have passed since these experiences took place, their conscious mind will have forgotten all about what took place. The natural outcome of this is that these feelings will be perceived as being ‘negative’ by their conscious mind.
Whereas if they didn’t have a load of defences in place and their conscious mind could remember what happened, this part of them would realise that these feelings may be ‘negative’ now, but there was a time when they were simply a reflection of what they were experiencing. With this understanding in place, their present emotional experience would be linked back to the original context, making complete sense in the process.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
With external support, one will be able to work through the emotional pain that has been locked in their body.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.