Feeling good is something we all want to experience and there are many ways to achieve this. One way this takes place is through receiving attention from other people; with this attention being positive. It is easy to feel down and unattractive when the attention from others is negative and/or invalidating.
And one way a woman can change how she feels is to use her body. Through this, there is the chance that she will be able to gain the kind of feedback she wants to receive in order to experience some kind of emotional boost.
This doesn’t mean that a women has to objectify her body to do this; she could just wear certain clothes and the attention from others is soon there. The important factors here are likely to be: how old they are and what they look like.
For example, when a woman is forty one, she is unlikely to have the same affect on others as she did when she was twenty one. That’s if her affect is purely based on what is taking place externally and not on what is going on internally.
For women and for men, aging is part of life. Some people try to stop it from taking place, but this is like trying to stop time – it is not something that can be avoided. So if a woman depends on her looks to feel good, for a certain time in her life, she is going to be fine.
And yet as time passes, and a woman’s outer appearance changes, her ability to gain certain responses from other people is going to diminish.
To lose something so powerful is inevitably going to have an impact on a woman’s sense of value. And yet if her whole value is based on she looks, the impact it has on her self-worth is going to be far greater.
If a woman feels insecure when she is a certain age, the attention she receives for how she looks might keep her insecurity’s at bay. Through objectifying her body, she can cover up how she feels.
Objectification is then something that enhances their wellbeing and can be used to their advantage. And if a woman has challenges with her own value and the looks that society values, then who can blame her for objectifying herself.
A Step Back
And one of the biggest reasons why a woman would feel insecure at a young age and when it comes to getting older is due to the pressures that society places on them to look a certain way. For if a woman’s value is based on her looking a certain way, if she doesn’t look this way or no longer looks this way, it is only natural that she will end up feeling worthless.
External beauty is often perceived as being more important than internal beauty in today’s world. So as a woman’s physical appearance will change; to base their value on their looks alone is to see them as objects.
A woman can therefore be accepted and appreciated for a while, but before long, she can end up feeling rejected. And if she has never looked a certain way, she can feel this way from the very beginning of her life.
But all the time a woman’s value is tied to how she looks; this is not going to change. A woman’s appearance will change over time, as will the appearance of everything on the planet, but this doesn’t mean that her inherent value decreases with it.
One reason society places a woman’s beauty above anything else she has to offer is because of evolution. Over many, many years, associations have been formed around youth and what it means it means for reproduction.
And as these features begin to disappear, a woman no longer has the same reproductive value. So although many years have passed since these associations were first formed, women are still being perceived in the same way.
It might not be something that is thought about consciously, but it is still taking place unconsciously. And one only needs to look at the western world to see how influential these associations are. This also shows how much control men have had and how oppressed women have been.
A woman needs to be valued for who she is and not for something that is transitory. And all the time a woman believes that her value is based on how she looks, she is naturally going to do all she can to maintain her looks and to feel more and more worthless as time goes by.
If something is new in today’s world, it is often classed as better, but if it is old, it is often classed as being no good. Age is something that can lead to wisdom, but if age is seen in a negative light, this wisdom is going to be overlooked and ignored.
This is not something that is going to change overnight, but it can change overtime. And we all have a part to play; whether we are male or female.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.