Observer Ego: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Develop A Strong Observer Ego?

While there are those who lack the ability to observe themselves and need to take the time to develop this ability, there are those that don’t. When someone has this ability, it could show that they have spent a fair amount of time meditating.

Then again, this could be something that they rarely do, and there is even the chance that they have never meditated. Either way, they will be able to take a step back, so to speak, to observe their needs, feelings and thoughts and think about the impact that their behaviour has on others.

An Important Ability

Not only is this going to allow them to live an intentional life, it is also going to allow them to have more harmonious relationships. First, if they were not aware of what was going on inside them, they wouldn’t be able to live a life that is in alignment with who they are.

Second, if they didn’t think about the impact that their behaviour has on others, it would be normal for them to create a lot of unnecessary issues with others. Furthermore, they would probably push a lot of people away.

A Time and A Place

Nonetheless, while this ability is important, there are going to be times when it is of no use whatsoever. It is then no different to how a hammer is good for some jobs but useless for others.

For example, once they have become aware of what their needs are, the next step will probably be for them to take action. The energy that they need for this to take place is not going to be provided by their observer self, though.

Another Aspect

No, this energy is going to be provided by their instinctual self or the part of them that relates to their aggression/fight instinct. Of course, their mind can provide them with a certain amount of energy via willpower, but this won’t be as strong.

If their observer self is a representation of ice, their ‘action self’ is a representation of fire. Another way of looking at this would be to say that a map is the observer self and a car is the action self; both are essential.

The Missing Part

Yet, although they might have a well very-developed observer self, they might not have a very well-developed action self. Consequently, they could spend a lot of time sitting around and typically only do things when they have to, causing them to deprive themselves of a great deal.

It is then going to be as if they have a map of where they want to go but they haven’t got a car to take them where they need to go. By being this way, they could often feel frustrated and helpless.

Missing Out

In general, they could feel as though they are sitting on the sidelines, watching others embrace and enjoy life. It is then to be expected that they will often feel frustrated, helpless and even depressed.

What is crystal clear is that they will need to connect to their action self or their life will continue to pass them by. Fortunately, as they have a well-developed observer self, they will probably be able to realise this.

The Big Question

At this point, they could wonder why this ability is so well-developed and why they are underdeveloped when it comes to their other ability. What could come to mind is that as this ability is ‘higher’ and the other is ‘lower’, this shouldn’t be the case.

If anything, they should have more going on when it comes to the part of them that governs their action self. What this can show is that their early years were anything but nurturing and that this was a time when they were deprived of what they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

Way Back

This is why they might have meditated a lot throughout their adult years or they might not have, as the foundations for this ability will have been laid at the beginning of their life. So, practically from the moment they were born, they may have often been left and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care.

To handle what was going on, their brain would have automatically repressed the pain and arousal they were in and they would have gone into a shut down, disconnected, collapsed and frozen state. In other words, they would have become a divided being, with their ties to their instinctual and emotional self being severed and their awareness moving into their head.

A New Connection

Taking this isn’t account, and as evolved as their observer self can appear to be, this was an ability that they were forced to develop to be able to handle a brutal stage of their life. Being embodied was too painful and so they had to leave their body to be able to function and keep it together and, thus, ensure their survival.

Now that they are an adult, it will be essential for them to reconnect to their body and to develop their action self. This is something that is likely to take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk