Offended: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Offended By Others?

In today’s world, it could be said that there are a lot of sensitive people, and through being this way, they can find it hard to handle day-to-day life. However, this is not to say that everyone who is sensitive responds to life in the same way.

Two Types

What this comes down to is that two people could see themselves as being sensitive and yet their behaviour could be radically different. On one side, one could have greater level of empathy and find that they need to spend a fair amount of time by themselves, for instance.

On the other side, one could find that even though they can empathise with others, it is not something that has a big effect on their life. But what does cause them to feel overwhelmed is when they come across something that they don’t agree with.

Space

It is then going to be more important for them to get away from the things that they find offensive than it is for them to spend time by themselves. Nevertheless, if one was to spend time by themselves, this might allow them to fulfil this need.

Having said that, this might not be enough, and this is because one could still find something that will press their buttons online. As a result of this, it can be hard for them to feel at peace.

Another Approach

But while one could retract form life when they are this way, they could also end up trying to change the world. When someone says that they want to change the world, it can sound like they want to do something positive.

Yet even though one can want to do this, it doesn’t mean that they actually want to make it a better place. What it can mean is that they want the world to be how they want it to be as opposed to making other people’s lives better.

Control

When this happens, it will be their intention to try to change anything that has a negative effect on them. It is then not going to matter what it is, as their need to feel better will take precedence.

And as far as they are concerned, they could be doing the ‘right’ thing, and there could be plenty of other people who have the same outlook. The fact that this will make it harder for other people to live a fulfilling life is unlikely to bother them.

A Tyrant

So just like a country can be ruled by someone who wants to control everyone and everything, this can also happen on a smaller scale. This is not to say that one will try to do this by themselves, as they could reach out for support.

One could try to get laws put in place that will change the country they live in, or to have certain things removed, for instance. This is something that may take quite some time to occur, but they will have far more control when they are online.

Social Media

If they come across something that offends them on social media, they should be able to deal with it straight away. This could involve blocking someone, or reporting a post that has had a strong effect on them.

This could also be a time where one will talk to other people who have the same views as they do. Perhaps one will be part of a group that is also hell-bent on controlling how the world should be.

Feelings

As one is willing to do so much in order to stop themselves from being overwhelmed, it shows how powerful their emotional experiences are. One way of looking at it would be to say that they are either at peace or they are all at sea, so to speak.

There is then no middle ground, and this shows that it is not possible for them to regulate how they feel. And through having no inner control, they feel compelled to control their environment.

Stepping Back

If one was able to step back from what is taking place, it would give them the chance to see why they are experiencing life in this way. What they could soon come to realise is that they are emotionally undeveloped.

This could show that they have experienced trauma, and this can then be why their emotions are out of control. What they come across externally that causes them to be offended is then triggering the pain that is within them.

A Deeper Look

Perhaps something has taken place in their adult years that has caused them to be emotionally unstable, or it could relate to their childhood years. During the beginning of their life, they may have had neglected and/or abused.

If they were neglected, they would have spent lot of time by themselves and this would have stopped them from being able to develop the ability to regulate their own emotions, among other things. Instead, they would have been overwhelmed, and the experience would have caused them feel angry, powerless and hopeless.

Exposed

Through having these experiences, it will be normal for them to be sensitive, and this is because they won’t have developed boundaries or a strong sense of self. Thus, based on what happens when they are offended, they can feel as though they are under attack.

Their emotional brain will have taken over and their thinking brain will end up being out of action. And as they can’t control how they feel, it is to be expected that they will try to control what is taking place around them.

Awareness

If one can relate to this and they no longer want to be emotionally undeveloped, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist. During this time, one can process the pain that is within them, heal the trauma they carrying and develop the ability to contain their emotional experience.

Through doing this, one will be taking responsibility for their own feelings, and this will stop them from trying to control other people. It will also stop them from feeling as though the world is out to get them, and it will be easier for them to feel at peace.                                                     

---

​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/