While there are some people who generally think before they speak, there are others who don’t. As a result of this, they are likely to come across as being radically different human beings.
When it comes to the former, it could be said that they are typically not going to say anything unless they have taken the time to think it through. This will give them the chance to reflect on what might happen if they were to say something.
Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will need a few hours to go over something in their mind. At times, this could be something that only takes them a few minutes or seconds, and then they will express themselves.
Pros and Cons
The good thing about this is that it will lower their chances of saying the wrong thing, and this means that other people could have the tendency to respond to them in a positive manner. One could be seen as someone who is able to empathise with others, and they might enjoy being in their company.
On the other hand, it is going to be normal for them to keep a lot of their views to themselves. Through being this way, it is going to cause them to water themselves down, so to speak.
It could be said that one is more concerned with doing everything they can to please others than they are with being themselves. Their true-self is then going to be put to one side and other people won’t know who they really are.
This could be how one has been for as long as they can remember, and it is likely to cause them to experience a lot of frustration. Yet, one can have the inclination to cover up how they feel when they are in their company.
No Holding Back
When it comes to the latter, one is not going to feel the need to take their time before they say anything. Once they have something to say, they could simply open their mouth.
In their eyes, it could be a waste of time to go over something, or this might not be something that even crosses their mind. One will have their own views, and they won’t stop themselves from sharing them.
Some of the people they come into contact with could see them as lacking the ability to put themselves in other people shoes. They could say that it is as if they don’t realise that people have feelings.
One is then human like everyone else, but they are missing something that other humans have. There will be others who have a different outlook, and they could say that they are just honest.
In this case, one has no interest in pleasing others; the only thing that concerns them is expressing themselves. How they come across with one person can then be how they come across with everyone.
So although they are likely to push people away through being this way, they could believe that it is worth it. Therefore, pleasing themselves is going to be far more important than pleasing others.
Along with these two extremes, there are naturally going to be people who fall in the middle of the spectrum. It could be said that it will be far healthier for someone to have the ability to speak their mind and to keep their views to themselves.
This is not to say that this will allow one to always make the right decisions; what it means is that they won’t be used to oppressing themselves and neither will they be used to overlooking other people’s feelings. One then has the ability to think before they speak, but at the same time, this doesn’t stop them from being able to express their views.
When one does everything they can do make sure they don’t upset other people, it can show that they believe they are responsible for how others respond to what they say. Through having this perspective, it is not going to be a surprise for them to worry about saying the wrong thing.
Other people are then defenceless, and it is up to them to do everything they can to protect them. One could feel as though they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and/or and it could be as if they are walking on egg shells.
If one was to take the time to reflect on their behaviour, it might allow them to change their perspective. This could be a time where one could ask themselves if other people are responsible for how they respond.
During this time, they may think about how it is usually what takes place in their head that defines how they respond and not what other people say. Thus, while other people do play a part, they are not in complete control.
A New Angle
One might then come to see that while there are times when it will be important for them to keep their mouth closed, it is not always going to be this way. If they were to express their views and this was to upset or offend someone, it could be more about what is going on for the other person than it is about what they have said.
As if they were to keep their views to themselves, it would stop them from being able to add their own contribution to the world. They would also be playing a part in causing some people to believe that they are not responsible for their own responses.
There will be moments when it is one’s best interest to keep their views to themselves and moments when it won’t be; this is something that one will have to decide for themselves. If one feels as though they unable to express their views, the assistance of a therapist may be needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.