Offended: Should Someone Apologize If Another Person Is Offended By Them?

While someone might have the desire to speak their mind, it doesn’t mean that they will end up doing so. If one was to take a step back and to reflect on why this is, they could find that it’s because they don’t want to lose other peoples approval.

Fitting In

Their priority is then going to be to go along to get along, and their truth will end up being overlooked. It will then be normal for one to lose themselves in the hope that other people will respond to them in a positive manner.

In general, this might be something that works for them, but this doesn’t mean that they are going to be happy about the direction their life is taking. Even so, it is going to be important for them to make sure that people don’t realise this.

Needs

Their need to express their truth is not simply going to disappear though, as this part of them will cause them to experience conflict. And while one could stay in touch with this part, they could end up disconnecting from it.

If they usually hide it when they are around others, it could mean that they will be in touch with this part when they are in their own company. This could then be a time when they are angry and frustrated.

Down

One is then going to be only too aware of what they feel as they do; however, if they are not in touch with how they feel, they are likely to have a different experience. This could be a time when they have the inclination to feel depressed or low, for instance.

But if they are out of touch with themselves, they could find it hard to understand why this happens. What they are going through could be attributed to something else that is going on in their life, or seen as being caused by their genetics, amongst other things.

Inner Change

If one is in this position, it is going to be in their best interest to change what is taking place within them so that they are no longer concerned about pleasing others. This could be a time when they will need to change what they believe, and they may even have some emotional work to do.

Still, the work that they do will enable them to express themselves, and this will stop them from having to ignore their need to speak their truth. This doesn’t mean that one will always be able to speak their mind when this happens, as there are bound to be times when this won’t be the right thing for them to do.

A Choice

Yet, this is not going to be the same as when one always kept their views to themselves. When this happens, it will typically be something that they choose to do, as opposed to something that they feel they have to do.

Nevertheless, once one experiences life in this way, they could find that there is something else that they have to consider. And if they were to speak to people who have been able to speak their mind for quite some time, they might find that they are already aware of this.

A Modern Day Problem

One could find that they need to be careful what they say, as it could cause them to offend other people. It would be easy to dismiss this and to say that that is part of life, but this is something that can lead to severe consequences in today’s world. 

For example, there are people who have lost their job or even been arrested for what they have said online. It then wouldn’t be a good idea to tell someone to simply throw caution to the wind and to say whatever they want.

A Closer Look

Still, this is something that can all depend on what they do for a living, as if one is self--employed it might not have an effect on their livelihood. What this won’t do is stop one from being visited by the police.

When these two things don’t take place, it can mean that one can endure a smear campaign instead. Or, other people could try to have them blocked or banned from a social media site.

A Big Audience

In addition to this, there is a strong chance that hundreds of even thousands of people will be able to see what they have said online. This is why it can be far worse than if they were to say something to a few people in the real world.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that there can be consequences regardless of whether they say something online or offline. Yet, when someone is offended by what they say, it could take them by surprise.

Deep Regret

One could then think about what they have said and they could soon end up feeling guilty; this could give them the desire to make amends for what they have said. It could be said that this is simply part of having a conscience.

They would have had the desire to do the right thing and to do what they could to make the other person feel better. But although there will be times when this is the right thing to do, there will be others when it isn’t.

Personal Responsibility

There is a difference between one going out of their way to cause offence and them simply sharing their views and opinions about something. If one does the former and they end up apologising when someone is offended by what they have said, they could be doing more harm than good.

The reason for this is one can play a part in stopping people from taking responsibility for what is taking place within them. In an indirect manner, they are going to be telling the other person that other people control how they respond to something.

Infantilization

Thus, instead of allowing the other person to see that they are in control of how they respond to something, they are being conditioned to believe that they are victims. Other people are then the ones who define how they feel.

Said another way, it is not that other people simply have different views to them; it is that other people are out to cause them harm. Freedom of speech is then something that has to go, as opposed to something that needs to be protected.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/