If someone was to use an online dating app to try to find a mate, it is naturally going to be different to how it would be if they were to try to find a mate in the real world. For one thing, there will be only so much information available to them online.
When they are looking at another person’s profile, they will have a number of pictures to look through and they may even have a write-up to go over. It is then not really going to be possible for them to get a sense of what the other person is really like.
In The Flesh
On the other hand, if someone was to go out into the real world and to meet people, there would be a lot more information available to them. They would be able to ask another person questions and they would be able to see what they actually look like, as opposed to looking at pictures that may have been heavily edited.
Furthermore, through being in their presence, it will give them the opportunity to see if they are a good match for them. This can be a time when their conscious mind might not be able to know if they are a good match, but their unconscious mind will let them know in one way or another.
A Bigger Role
So, unlike online dating where it is more about what someone looks like, the real world can be a place where someone’s personality has more of an impact. Therefore, if someone doesn’t look good pictures but they have a good personality, they might not do very well online.
Yet, if someone looks good in pictures but they don’t have much of a personality, online dating could be a good option for them. This can make online dating sound very shallow and in a lot of cases, it is.
The Other Side
With that aside, if someone has a strong need to find a mate online, they can do what they can do make sure that they come across in a good light. Now, this may mean that they will do what they can make sure that they have a good write-up and that their pictures are equally as good.
At the same time, what they may do is pay little attention to their write-up and do what they can do have good pictures. Having good pictures and an average write-up is likely to be better than the opposite.
The Right Message
Nonetheless, by having a good write up, it will give them the chance to let other people know exactly what they are looking for. One will be clear, which may allow them to be very clear when it comes to what they say on their profile.
When it comes to the pictures that they upload, they may have a few of just them and a few where they are with their friends, for instance. Each picture may then show a different side of their nature.
Keeping it Natural
While they may share a few pictures of them from a certain angle, due to how this makes them look, they might not edit their pictures. They may be only too aware of how much better they would look if they did this, but that doing so would mean that they are presenting a false image.
This may mean that they won’t pull as many people in, yet at least they won’t be misleading others. After all, if one can’t reveal what they actually look like on a dating app, how is it going to be possible for them to experience true intimacy?
When it comes to the parts of themselves that someone decides to keep hidden and to reveal at a later date, it can all depend on if they are man or a woman. A woman may decide that she won’t share any pictures of her body; whereas a man may decide that he won’t share any pictures that show how successful he is or what his body is like.
Deep down, the woman may realise that if she were to do this, it might cause her to only draw in men who are interested in one part of her. And a man may also have the same outlook.
The Sensible Approach
Once again, this will most likely have an effect on the amount of people they are able to pull in, but it will most likely be worth it in the long run. What this can also show is that someone like this values themselves, with this being the reason why they are able to hold certain things back.
Clearly, if they were to reveal everything on their online dating profile it would allow them to bring more men/women in; the downside to this, of course, it that the quality of the people who they do bring in would probably go down. If one didn’t value themselves and had a strong need for approval, they could end up revealing everything, causing them to attract people who only want to be with them because they have a good body/a lot of money.
What this illustrates is how important it is for someone to think about what kind of people they may attract if they share a certain part of themselves or their life on their dating profile. Just because they have it, it doesn’t mean that they have to flaunt it – not at the beginning anyway.
When they speak to someone who ticks a number of their boxes, so to speak, and they end up meeting them to find out if there is something between the two of them, they can gradually reveal more of themselves. If this is done too soon, though, it will be even harder for one to know if another person is interested in all of them and wants a relationship or only a certain part of them and wants something else.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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