Personal Power: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Believe That They Have No Control Over Their Life?
When one feels as though they have control over their life, it will have a positive effect on their well-being. This is because it will be possible for them to fulfil their needs and this will allow them to grow.
Alternatively, when one feels as though they don’t have control over their life, it will have a negative effect on their life. It won’t be possible for them to fulfil their needs and this will make it harder for them to grow.
Therefore, the ideal will be for one to experience a sense of control over their life, as this will allow them to live a life that is worth living. This is not to say that their life will always go how they want it to go; but what it does mean is that they won’t be used to feeling like a victim.
And as there appears to be a lot of people who feel like a victim in today’s world, it could be said that there are a lot of people that feel as though they have no control over their life. It is then going to be a challenge for them to enjoy the life that they have been given.
On one hand then, it can be normal for one to have a sense of control, and on the other hand, it can be normal for them to feel as though they have no control. If one can relate to the former, they might find it hard to imagine what it would be like to experience life differently.
When one can relate to the latter, they may also find it hard to get an idea of what it would be like to experience a sense of control. Yet if one has always experienced a sense of control, they may believe that everyone experiences life in the same way.
Their experience is then being projected onto other people and it won’t matter how they experience life. As a result of this, if they were to come across someone who acted as though they have no effect on their life, they could dismiss their experience.
One could say that they do have control and that they need to change their outlook, among other things. This could then mean that they are unable to empathise with their experience and the other person could then feel as though their experience is not being acknowledged.
However, if one feels as though they have no control, they could also see other people as having the same experience. What they hear about in the news or from the people they spend their time with, for instance, could be interpreted in a certain way.
This then stops them from being able to see that not everyone experiences life in the same way. At the same time, if one was to hear about people who experience life differently; they could see them as being different.
One could focus on what they can see and it this can then mean that they say that other people are more intelligent than they are, or that they are more confident. If they were to overlook what is taking place on the surface, they could put it down to fact that they are inherently different.
It is then going to be something that is out of their control and they will have to endure the rest of their time on this planet. And if they were to experience life differently, they could end up putting it down to outside circumstances.
Yet even though one feels as though they have no control over their life, it doesn’t mean that they will allow it to define them. Instead, they could cover up how they feel and this could take place through trying to control others.
When this happens, one can end up seeing other people as an extension of themselves. Ultimately, it won’t matter how their behaviour affects others, as they will be consumed by their need to avoid facing how they feel at a deeper level.
But with that aside, when one’s life is defined by how they feel they might be used to being controlled by others. In fact, they might be used to being controlled by life, and this can cause them to believe that the world is against them.
Based on this, it might be accurate to say that they see themselves as being nothing more than an effect of their environment. Like a small boat in the ocean, they are tossed and turned by their surroundings.
This could then cause them to disconnect from their needs, as if they were aware of them it would just cause them to experience pain. Yet even if they were in touch with them, it is unlikely to make any difference.
Through having needs that are rarely, if ever, met, they can be accustomed to feeling frustrated, angry and powerless. This may also mean that their life is filled with moments where they feel down or depressed.
A Deeper Look
If one was able to take a step back from how they experience life, they may find that it has always been this way. But while this is the case, it doesn’t mean that they were born this way; what it is likely to show is that there was a time in their life where their needs were not met.
This could have been during their childhood years, and this could be a sign that they were abused and/or neglected. Their needs were then ignored on a regular basis and it would be normal for them to feel as though they have no control over their life.
Yet while this was the case during their early years, this is no longer the case; but in order for one to realise this, it will be important for their inner world to change. This could take place through working on their mind, or it might be necessary for them to look at what is taking place in their body.
When it comes to the mind, it can relate to thoughts and beliefs, and when it comes to the body, it can relate to trapped emotions. The assistance of a therapist and/or a support group may be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.