In general, there are feelings that are seen as “good” and feelings that are seen as being “bad”. As a result of this, it can be normal for someone to deny certain feelings and to embrace others.
To go one step further, they could view themselves as a “good” person who only experiences “good” feelings. For example, they could see themselves as someone who is always happy, friendly and accepting of others.
Along with this, most of the people in their life could also have a very similar view of them. If one was to experience “bad” feelings and their behaviour was to change, these people are likely to be very surprised.
Some of these people could think that one is in a very bad place and they might hope that they soon go back to how they were before. Some of them might even prefer to keep their distance for a while.
Living in Denial
Now, regardless of whether one is in this position or just does what they can to avoid “bad” feelings, these feelings won’t have completely disappeared. They will no longer be aware of them but that doesn’t mean that they will no longer be part of their consciousness.
The feelings that they don’t allow themselves to acknowledge and deny as soon as they enter their conscious awareness will be held in another part of their being. Their unconscious mind/body will contain both the feelings and the parts of themselves that they have rejected.
Living on the Surface
To avoid this other part of their being, they will need to stay out of their body and to live in their head. If they were to connect to their body, they might soon come into contact with inner material that they would rather avoid.
To stop this inner material from entering their conscious mind, there is likely to be numerous defences that have automatically been put in place. Furthermore, their body (their muscles and fascia) may have contracted in certain places, thereby stopping what is held below from rising up.
As the years go by, they are likely to find that it gets harder and harder for them to carry on living in this way. Firstly, the more “bad” feelings and parts of themselves that they have pushed out of their awareness, the more energy they will need to keep all this stuff at bay.
Secondly, as what they have stored deep inside their being will be made up of their own life force, the more of it they push down the less of it they will have and yet the more energy they will need to keep it down. Ultimately, then, without realising it, one is fighting a battle that they simply can’t win.
Therefore, although one can view certain feelings as “good” and certain feelings as “bad”, they are all made up of the same stuff at their core. Considering this, if one stops themselves from embracing all of their feelings by disconnecting from their “bad” ones, they are going to lose touch with a lot of their energy.
Also, by losing touch with their so-called “bad” feelings, they are not going to be able to truly experience the “good” ones. What this comes down to is that they exist on a spectrum, and, by losing one side, the other side is also lost.
The “good” feelings that they do experience are then going to be forced and largely dependent on external means, such as food and alcohol, for instance. Not having access to their emotional fuel will also mean that they will be reliant on the power of their mind – will power.
Another outcome of having all this material locked in their body is that it can lead to physical problems. This energy won’t be able to come up and out, so it will undermine their body from the inside.
It would be easy to say that feelings such as hate and rage need to be denied as they only cause harm and destruction. However, these feelings will only lead to that outcome if one is controlled by them and does something destructive.
The key will be for someone to be able to be with how they feel and to view what is taking place inside them as information. From here, they will be able to look into why they are experiencing a certain feeling and what they need to do.
For example, if someone was to experience hate, it could show that there is someone in their life who is harming them in some way. By paying attention to this feeling, along with the feelings that go with it, they may see that they need to stand up to this person and/or to cut their ties with them.
In addition to this, they may find that there is a lot of softer pain under this hate and that they need to grieve what has happened and to forgive themselves and the other person. By processing this experience as opposed to denying it, there will be no need for them to close their heart and to shut down.
An Old Wound
If how they feel doesn’t relate to what is currently taking place in their life, it could show that they are reconnected to something that happened many, many years ago. What took place will be over, but the pain that they experienced would have stayed in their body.
Or, even if how they feel does appear to relate to what is going on, it could still be a replay of an old scenario. This can show that they have unconsciously re-created an old experience so that they can become aware of what they need to resolve in order to become more whole and complete.
Taking all this into account, if one wants to be connected to their personal power and to have access to all their life force, not just a small part of it, it will be essential for them to embrace their “darkness”. If they don't do this, they will be greatly weakened and a lop-sided human being.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.