It doesn’t take much effort to notice that some people are more empowered than others. But while it may appear that empowered people have something empowered people don’t, inherently we all have the same power.
The defining factor is that some people are in touch with and connected to this power and some people are not.
And there are many reasons as to why someone is or is not in touch with their personal power. This can relate to: the kind of childhood one has experienced; how one responded to their childhood; the friends that one has and the people they have come across; how resilient one is and many other factors.
There is also the social aspect here and how mainstream society’s often discourage ones personal power and actively foster dependence on the system. So unless one feels a sense of personal power, it is unlikely that they will achieve this through following the rules or advice of society.
Set For Life
For the people who feel empowered through their early experiences, the limits of society are going to be less of a problem. Because they have already realised what personal power feels like.
But for others who haven’t had these early experiences, it could mean that they will go their whole life feeling disempowered. Or one could of course overcome these early experiences through their own efforts and seek out people and information to transform themselves.
And this does happen and can be seen through many success stories of the world. This is often more of an exception as opposed to the rule though.
Although one may not have a sense of personal power, it doesn’t mean that this will be visible to the outside observer. Certain adoptions can be made to cover this inner experience up. Here, one can become controlling and gain a sense of power through telling others what to do.
This could be a fairly subtle on one hand, to extremely visible on the other. One may enjoy telling the people around them what to do, or at the other end of the spectrum have visions of telling the whole world what to do. And then try to rise through certain positions of power in order to make this vision a reality.
No Other Choice
If one feels a sense of being powerless within, then it can seem as though the control of others is the only option available. And as the world we live in has so many examples of this at a local level and further out, this is not much of a surprise.
One could then come to conclusion that it’s a case of either controlling others or being controlled by others. And these are not exactly healthy or functional choices.
True power has nothing to do with the control of others and everything to do with the control of oneself. But through one feeling so out of control within, it then becomes natural to want to control others as way to regulate the lack of control that one is experiencing within.
Due to so much disorder going on internally, as a result of the feelings, emotions and thoughts that have built up over one’s life; it can make it extremely difficult for one to realise their true power.
One can then end up being caught up in their feelings or thoughts and react to them. And how they behave will then depend on these internal aspects and not conscious decisions.
When this sense of personal power hasn’t been realised it can lead to all kinds of consequences. The desire to control others is one of these consequences and one of the more common examples.
Another thing that can happen is the idealisation and elevation of other people. To admire another human being and to respect their achievements is one thing. It is another to see someone else as being superior and as having something that one does not have themselves. When this takes place, one is giving their own power away and denying what they have within them.
Certain societal figures can then feed on this power that is being given to them by people. This can explain how authority figures, such as those in the political arena, often have so much power; it’s because so many people have renounced their own.
These are just some of the ways that one’s inner power can be projected externally and how one can end up being victimised as a result. Another challenge here is that the western world generally denies the existence of emotions.
And this is a big mistake - as emotions have so much power and influence over how people perceive life and how they behave. After all, the need to control another person is ultimately the result of feeling a certain way within.
The experience of having no control within is an experience that doesn’t have to define one’s life. What has built up internally will need to be released if one is to realise their true power.
It is often said that life is more about letting go then it is about gaining anything. And that’s if one even believes there is anything to gain. This is likely to take time and will not be something that happens overnight. A therapist, healer or coach can aid in this process; as can some kind of self inquiry.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.