For some people, positive thinking will be seen as something that can be used from time to time, and then for others, it will be seen as something that will need to be used all the time. It is then similar to someone who puts salt on everything they eat and someone who only puts it on certain meals.
A Time and A Place
This shows that one person can believe that there is a time and a place for positive thinking, and it could then be said that they are going to be more in balance. For one thing, they won’t need to filter out everything that could be classed as ‘negative’.
It will then be possible for them to embrace how they feel, and this means they can work with themselves. If they were to see all that is ‘negative’ as something that they need to avoid, they could end up working against themselves.
If they were to experience something negative, they are more likely to see it as feedback. They can then acknowledge what is taking place and this will stop them from experiencing resistance.
Whereas if they were unable to do this, they are more likely to experience resistance, and when one resists something, it is more likely to persist. The act of facing something can then be the very thing that takes its power away.
What this will also show is that they are not going to get caught up in negativity; they are simply going to pay attention to it and then do what is necessary. They may even believe that it is more important to have a positive outlook than it is to think positive.
As a result of this, they will have greater flexibility, and they will be able to operate as whole human being. They may realise that there will be times when it will be important for them to embrace ‘negativity’, and through doing this, their time on this earth will be even richer.
For instance, if one experienced some kind of loss, there is the chance that they will go with how they feel. During this time, they are likely to experience painful feelings and thoughts, and they may realise the importance of crying out the pain that is within them.
One has no other choice than to embrace the ‘negativity’ within them; if they were to avoid what was taking place, it would set them up to have problems further down the line. In this case, one is facing what is taking place within them, and this will allow them to embrace life once again.
This is also likely to mean that they will be in touch with their true-self, or at least open to doing the work they need to do to find it. It could be said that one is in touch with their true-self when are aware of their real feeling and needs, for instance.
When one needs to be positive all the time, it is not going to be possible for them to be aware of their real feelings. This is partly because one’s real feelings are not always going to be ‘positive’.
If one is disconnected from their true-self but they are willing to face how they feel, it will enable them to gradually find their true-self. They will realise that working through emotional pain is not something they can avoid; it is something they need to do to let go of their false-self.
This emotional pain can relate to their unmet childhood needs, and it can be easy for one to get caught up in these needs. When this happens, their unmet childhood can end up defining their entire life.
The kind of life they want to experience can then be the result of their unmet childhood needs, and this means that even if they were to experience life in this way, it is unlikely to be fulfilling. There is also the chance that one already realises this because they have been able to meet some of these needs and they still feel unfulfilled.
One way for them to let go of this emotional pain will be to cry it out, and this is something that is unlikely to happen overnight. But as one doesn’t feel the need to be positive all the time, it will allow them to go through this process and to find their true-self.
However, if one doesn’t allow themselves to experience ‘negativity’, there is the chance that they will be living on the surface of themselves. They are not going to allow themselves to experience their true feelings; if they were to do this, they might end up feeling guilty, or believe that something ‘bad’ will happen.
Emotional pain can then be seen as something they need to avoid, and they might even believe that their feelings are caused by their thoughts. As a result of this, it will be important for them to take control of their thoughts.
However, while one’s thoughts can define how they feel, their feelings can also be triggered by their thoughts. Therefore, having ‘positive’ thoughts is not necessary going to change how one feels.
It could just end up causing one to repress how they feel and this is not going to allow them to connect with their true-self. In this sense, the true-self is not something that one creates in their mind; it is something they find by connecting to their body.
If one is in a position where they are out of touch with their true-self and they find it hard to be ‘negative’, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for support. Through working with a therapist and/or a support group, one will be provided with the assistance they need to work through their emotional pain.
This is unlikely to be something that happens overnight, and this is why it will be important for one to be patient and persistent.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.