If someone is into self-development, they are likely to be familiar with ‘positive thinking’. This is something that is generally encouraged when it comes to living a better life.
Here, one will need to create thoughts that are ‘positive’ and do to everything they can to stop themselves from having thoughts that are ‘negative’. Through this, one will have the chance to feel better and to behave in ways that are more fulfilling.
One can come to believe that they either allow their mind to be consumed by negative thoughts, or they take control and make sure their mind is full of positive thoughts. There is then no middle ground; it is either one or the other.
This can mean that negative thoughts are seen as harmful and not as something that could assist them. It is then not possible for one to be guided by them and this is why they have to be removed.
Law of Attraction
If one has this outlook, they are likely to be validation when it comes to the Law of Attraction. Based on this law, people are often told that they attract what they think about.
It then makes perfect sense for one to only have thoughts that are positive. If one was to have negative thoughts (even for a short period of time), it would cause them to attract things they don’t want.
What this will mean is that thinking positive is not something that one can do here and there, is it something they have to do all the time. At the back of their mind will be the fear of what they might attract if they allow their mind to wonder.
Guilt may also arise during those moments when they allow themselves to have negative thoughts. One is then unable to let go and to just be with their mind, they need to monitor it at all times.
Out of Balance
There is no doubt that one’s thoughts are having an effect on their life, but to say that one’s whole life is defined by their thoughts might be going a bit far. This doesn’t mean that one should completely ignore their mind and let it do whatever it wants to do, or that they are a victim.
But when one believes that their thoughts are in control of their life, they are creating an outlook that doesn’t reflect reality. It is also another way for someone to harm themselves.
The Come Down
In the beginning, one could be inspired by positive thinking and/or the law of attraction and believe it is the answer to all their problems. Yet, as time passes, they could find that while some things have changed, a lot hasn’t.
However, instead of one realising that they have been sent down the wrong path, they could come to the conclusion that they are doing something wrong. One can then end up believing that they are the problem.
When it comes to positive thinking and the law of attraction, there is generally only one option. And because it is only the positive side of life that is embraced, it can cause one to end up living a life of denial.
What is ‘negative’ within them needs to be ignored and what is ‘negative’ without will also need to be ignored. And while one might think that this is the only way for them to experience they life they want, it is only going to create more problems.
The Dark Side
If one wants to live a fulfilling life, it doesn’t mean that they have to remove all that is ‘negative’. Just because one embraces a negative thought or feeling, it doesn’t mean that something bad will happen.
Instead of one denying certain thoughts and feelings, they can contain what is taking place within them. This means that one acknowledges what is taking place, without being consumed by it. And if they are consumed by it, they can reach out for support as opposed to trying to cover it up.
When one is able to contain what is taking place within them and doesn’t feel the need to always be positive, it will allow them to experience empathy. If, on the other hand, one feels the need to always be positive, it is going to affect their ability to experience empathy.
If one was to allow themselves to experience another person’s pain, it will be seen as something that will have a negative effect on their own life. One then has to block out how other people feel.
Through their own need to remain positive, it could cause them to invalidate how others feel. To empathise with what someone is going through could be seen as something that will stop them from attracting what they want.
They could end up telling someone to ‘get over it’ or to just ‘let go’. One might not only fear what they will attract into their life if they empathise with others, they might also fear what could be triggered within them.
When one has the need to be positive all the time it is not only going to set them up to be in denial, it is also going to have a negative effect on their relationships. And if one has identified with the law of attraction, they might tell others that they created what happened to them.
They could then tell the other person that they need to change what is taking place in their mind, and how this will enable them to attract what they want.
While thinking positive is important, there will be times when one needs to embrace what is not positive. Through containing what is taking place within them as opposed to denying certain parts, it will allow them to be a whole human being.
Their ability to experience empathy won’t be effected either and this will have a positive effect on their relationships. If one is trying to avoid the pain that is within them through thinking positive, they might need to seek the assistance of a therapist, healer and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.