When it comes to experiencing mental and emotional wellbeing, having a sense of personal power is important. This doesn’t mean that this will allow someone’s life to always go how they want it to go, but what it does mean is that they won’t feel like a victim.
They will know that they are playing an active role in what does or doesn’t happen in their life. And as they have this outlook, it is going to be easier for them to handle the moments where their life doesn’t go to plan. Part of Life This will be seen as part of life as opposed to a sign that they have no control over their life. However, if it wasn’t for the moments where their life does go to plan, it wouldn’t be possible for them to have this outlook. It could then be said that the moments in their life that do go to plan balance out the parts of their life that don’t. There may also be times in their life where it is not possible for them to have the influence that they desire. Acceptance Based on how their life usually is, it may be possible for them to accept what is taking place; to see it as a stage. As a result of this, they are not going to become attached to what is occurring. Their sense of perspective allows them to keep going, and to realise that what is taking will soon pass. This may be how their life has always been, or it could be an outlook that they have gradually developed. Inner Strength If one was to spend time around someone who has this outlook, they are going to see that they have an inner strength. But even if they didn’t spend time around them and just heard about then from a distance, the same outlook is likely to arise. Yet, although they may come across as being naturally strong, they are going to be influenced by the people around them. What this mean is that the people around them are going to play a part in how they feel. Interdependent If one was to spend their time around people who felt as though they had no control over their life, it is not going to have a positive influence on their own life. It could cause them to gradually develop the same mindset. This is why if someone feels a sense of personal power, they are likely to spend their time around people who have the same mindset. The people around them will give them the support they need, and they will validate the outlook they have. Powerless When someone feels as though they are powerless, this could be how they have always felt. In this case, it is not going to be an experience that comes and goes it will be a way of life. This could cause them to imagine what it would like to live a life where they have absolute power. And based on how they are experiencing life, this is a normal reaction. Validation How they feel on the inside is going to be validated by what takes place on the outside, and this is going to stop them from being able to see life differently. The experiences they have in life are going to be seen as a reflection of the fact that they have no power as opposed to a reflection of what is taking place within them. This could come down to the fact that they are not aware of what is taking place within them, and this could be why they are unable to experience life differently. It is then not possible for them to see how they are playing a part in what is taking place. Self Reflection If they were to place their attention on what is going on within them, they may start to get an understanding of how destructive their inner world is. There are going to be thoughts and feelings that combine to make them feel powerless. And as well as these two factors, one is also going to have numerous beliefs that support how they feel and think. One approach would be for them to change their beliefs, and to think differently. Change Through this, it will be possible for them to change how they behave and they will also feel different. One might end up believing that their feelings are created by their thoughts, and this will cause them to focus on what is taking place in their mind. However, while this approach may allow one to realise their personal power, it could also put them on the wrong track. The reason for this is that one’s feelings are not always created by their thoughts. A Deeper Look Although the outlook that one has doesn’t match up with reality, there may have been a time when it did. What this means is that they may have been a time in their life where they were powerless, and while time has passed, the emotional experience has stayed within them. This could have a time where one experienced some kind of loss, and this could have meant that there was nothing they could do. In this instance, it would have been normal for one to feel as though they were powerless, and this is because they were. Loss If one loses a family member or if a relationship comes to an end, it is not going to be possible for them to do anything. This can also relate to someone who was neglected and/or abused as a child. Their developmental needs were not met, and this is going to cause them to experience an extreme sense of loss. Yet, if one is able to grieve a loss, they will gradually be able to let go of the feeling of being powerless. Stuck But if one is unable to grieve, they are going to end up being stuck, and feeling powerless will become part of their identity. However, when one experiences loss as an adult, they might end up disconnecting from how they feel. And if this relates to a child, they are unlikely to have the chance to grieve if they are neglected and/or abused. This can mean that if one experienced loss as a child, they may have always felt powerless, and if this relates to an adult, feeling powerless may be something that they have become familiar with later in life. Awareness In order for one to realise their personal power and to no longer feel powerless, it will be important for them to grieve their losses. And as they are able to cry out their pain, they will gradually begin to feel different. This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. If one has avoided their pain until this point, they are likely to need external assistance.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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