Assuming you have just heard of ‘inner child work’, you may want to find out more. Perhaps your inner world is not in a good way and you would like to know if this kind of work can assist you.
When it comes to your inner child, one way of looking at this part of you would be to say that it relates to the child that you once were. Many years will have passed since you were a child but this child will now live inside you.
Many Different Parts
Having said that, it wouldn’t be completely accurate to say that you only have one inner child inside you. The reason for this is that there are likely to be many children inside of you.
However, while this is the case, it doesn’t mean that you will connect to more than one child at a time. Each time you connect to your inner child, then, it won’t necessarily be the same age - or be in the same emotional state - as it was the last time you connected to it.
If you were to take a step back and to reflect on your life, you may see that there have been times when you have felt like a child. This would have been a time when your adult self went offline, so to speak.
During moments like this, you would have merged with your inner child. Through merging with this part of you, you wouldn’t have been aware of what was taking place.
The Next Step
Still, this doesn’t mean that you will have to wait for moments like this to be able to connect to your inner child. One thing that you can do is to find somewhere quiet and to bring your awareness into your body.
Through doing this, you may find that you are able to connect to your inner child. If you can do this, it can show that you have a good connection with your body.
On the other hand, if it is not possible for you to do this, it can show that you have a number of defences in place and are carrying a fair amount of tension in your body. What this will do is stop you from being able to easily connect to your feelings and thus, your inner child.
What this illustrates is that your inner child will be found in your body, not your mind. If you are unable to connect to this part of you, it doesn’t mean that you need to blame or shame yourself or that you are damaged; it is just likely to show that you have become numb in order to stop yourself from being overwhelmed by pain.
If your defences were to fall away and this tension was to subside, you may end up coming into contact with a lot of emotional and physical pain. At this point, you may very well come into contact with your inner child.
However, if you were to end up merging with it and losing touch with your adult self, you might not realise that this is so. To remove this armouring and to connect to your body, you may need to heal a fair amount of trauma.
Holding the Space
If you can connect to your inner child, or if you have taken the steps to form this connection, you may find that it is hard for you to stay present. This will prevent you from being able to just be and to allow your inner child to express itself.
When this happens, you won’t be able to work through the layers of pain that are inside you and heal yourself. For this to happen, you will need to operate from your adult self so that your child self can receive what it needs and express what it wasn’t able to express all those years ago.
This is why the assistance of a therapist or healer, for example, can be so beneficial, as someone like this can hold the space. You will then be able to go where you wouldn’t go by yourself.
And, as you work through the layers of pain that are inside you, your own presence and adult self will become stronger. The outcome of this is that you will soon be strong enough to hold the space for yourself and to heal this part of you.
If you need support, make sure that you reach out and don’t try to do everything by yourself. Needing support is part of life and not a sign that you are weak or incapable; after all, no one is their own island.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.