When it comes to how someone views another person, it can be as though it is simply the result of who they are. Therefore, one is not adding anything to them; they are just aware of what this person is like.
This is no different to how if one was to describe what a car in front of them looked like, they would just be describing it. What they wouldn’t be doing is adding anything to the car that isn’t part of the car.
With this understanding, if one was to spend time with someone and came to believe that this person had anger problems, it could be said that this must be the case. After all, they will have observed this in them.
Conversely, and after spending time with someone, they could say that this person believes that they are better than others. Once again, one will have just seen this behaviour in another.
One could find that they rarely, if ever, come into contact with people that possess these traits, or it could be something that often takes place. If it rarely takes place, it could show that they are simply observing these traits in others.
However, if this is something that takes place on a regular basis, it could show that there is more to what is going on than meets the eye. What it could show is that one is not simply observing these traits, along with numerous others, in people; they are attaching them to them.
Going Deeper, Much Deeper
This is a defence mechanism that is known as projection in psychology, and it is when one places parts of themselves into another person. It is more common for this to be seen as what happens when someone projects parts of themselves onto another person.
Nonetheless, this is incorrect (as Joseph Burgo pointed out) as when this takes place, one will make out that another person has a certain trait. It is then going to be an internal part of them, not something that is an external part of them.
Ultimately, this defence mechanism will be utilised so that one doesn’t have to face parts of themselves. So, if they have the tendency to believe that other people have anger problems, it is likely to illustrate that they are the ones with anger problems.
In order for them to realise this, though, they will need to take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour. By doing this, it will give them the chance to take their attention away from what they think is going on externally and to look into what is really going on internally.
If they were to do this, what might start to become clear is that they don’t feel comfortable with their own anger. What this might demonstrate is that they believe that there is something wrong with it.
If this wasn’t so, and they had a healthy relationship with their anger, there would be no reason for them to place it in others. With this in mind, the way for them to change how they experience the world will be for them to change what is taking place inside them.
A Number of Wounds
Along with seeing their anger in a negative light, they could also find that their anger is just the tip of the iceberg. Below this feeling could be a number of others feelings, feelings that are hard for them to face.
They could find that they feel powerless, helpless and hopeless, and they could carry a fair amount of toxic shame. These feelings could show that at one stage of their life, they may have been violated.
The anger that they feel is then not going to be the main issue; it will just be a consequence of something that was traumatic. But, both the anger and the feelings that go with it will have been too painful for them to face, which is why they ended up being projected into others.
One way of looking at this defence mechanism, along with every other, is that it is there to assist them. It is not there so that they can believe that everyone else is the problem and they themselves are fine.
In The Dark
The trouble is that the only way that it will assist them, is if they have an understanding of what is going on. If the education system went into what defence mechanisms are and what their purpose is, for instance, this would almost certainly be in place.
Yet, as this doesn’t happen, it is going to be perfectly normal for them to have absolutely no idea about what they are and what their purpose is. The outcome of this is that one can end up victimising others and themselves.
When one has both an understanding of what is going on and a willingness to face their own wounds, they will be able to transform their life and to stop feeding into the dramas of the world. To do this, they might need to reach out for external support.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.