Purpose: Can Toxic Shame Cause Someone To Hide From Their Own Purpose?

If one was to finally get in touch with why they are here, they could soon do everything they can to change their life. What they have been doing for all this time might no longer interest them, and it will then be time for them to do something else.

At the same time, it might not be this extreme, and one could continue to do some of the things they were doing. As a result of this, it could be said that what they have been doing all this time has not been in vain.

Preparation

If anything, what they have been doing will have been what they needed to do to get to where they are now. There will then be no reason for them to look back on their life and to come to the conclusion that they have been wasting time.

As if they were to go back and to try to do what they are about to do now, they may find that they are not ready. It would then be the same as a baby going back to when they couldn’t walk and trying to run instead of walk; it would be too much for them.

Off Course

When one was doing something else, it might have seemed as though nothing was happening and as though they were going in the wrong direction. This is not to say they knew which direction to go, but it might not have felt right.

There could have been moments when one ended up feeling frustrated with the direction their life was taking, and they might have been other moments when they were able to let go and to trust in what was taking place. Either way, one is now going to be in a position where they can go to the next stage of their journey.

A Process

Yet, even if one was to get in touch with why they are here and to allow their actions to be defined by this, it doesn’t mean that their life is going to change overnight. Instead, there is a strong chance that this is something that will gradually end up defining their reality.

However, what needs to be emphasised is what one is aware of what matters and they are doing something about it. For example, if one had a profession that didn’t reflect their true nature and they wanted this to change; they might have to back to college, for instance.

Brick by Brick

The actions they take will enable their life to gradually reflect who they are, and this is naturally going to be different to the kinds of actions they took before. In the past, they would have been taking action but this wouldn’t have been coming from the same place.

During this time, they might have done something because they didn’t know what else to do, or they might have felt as though they didn’t have a choice. Their life might have seemed as though it just happened and they didn’t play a part

Looking Back

As the weeks, months and years pass, one is likely to look back on where they started and to realise that they did the right thing. If they continued to do the same thing, their life probably would have been even worse than it was.

But while some people can end up getting in touch with why they are here and allowing it to define their life, there can be others who don’t. It is then not going to matter what is taking place within them, as it will end up being overlooked.

To The Surface

If they were to come into contact with this part of them, they could end up focusing on something else. This is then going to be similar to how someone can hear a noise and do what they can to block it out.

One is not going to want to embrace what is taking place within them, and they will continue to experience life in the same way. Therefore, although this part of them wants to be heard, it is not going to see the light of day.

One Step Further

Alternatively, one could pay attention to this part of them from time to time, and think about what it would be like to live their truth, so to speak. They might even look into what they can do to make it a reality.

But even if this was to take place, it might not go any further, and this could cause them to experience pain. As while the person above won’t allow themselves to embrace this pain, one will be aware of the fact that they are not living in the right way.

Forward and Back

In addition to thinking about what they want to do, they could even go further than this and take part in some kind of training.  Or, if they don’t go this far, they could simply read a book that talks about what they want to do.

Yet regardless of what they do, this will be as far as it will go, and one will go back to what they were doing before. After a while, this same process could take place all over again.

Protection

On way of looking at this would be to say that one lacks confidence, and that they need to work on their self-esteem. This could be the case, and if it is, one will need to build themselves up.

What it might come down to is that one is carrying toxic shame, and this is why they do everything they can do avoid their purpose. Through doing something else, it can allow them to hide behind a role; whereas if they were to live their truth, it would mean that other people would see their true-self.

Worthless

And, if one feels as though they are worthless and that there is something inherently wrong with them, the last thing they will want is for other people to do this. Hiding behind a role won’t allow them to experience a fulfilling life, but it will stop them from having to get in touch with how they feel about themselves.

What is taking place within them is going to be what is holding them back and, if one was to no longer play a role, they could believe that people will reject and abandon them. So, unless their inner world changes, they will continue to hide from their own purpose.

Awareness
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If one can relate to this, and they want to change their circumstances, they might need to work with a therapist. This is unlikely to be something that will change overnight, but the sooner one does something about this the sooner their life will change.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk