For some people in this world, doing what they love is a normal part of life. And for others this is nothing more than an idea that sounds good and is far from there day to day experience.
To do what ones loves and enjoys might have not even been considered by this person. Life can be seen as something to be endured and faced and not something to be enjoyed or embraced.
Perhaps one feels that they are not good at anything or don’t have any special gifts. And end up going through the motions in life and spending their time doing what brings neither happiness nor fulfilment.
Other People Are Different
Seeing other people as being different and having something that one doesn’t have is a consequence of these perceptions. And when other people are seen to be enjoying what they do and receiving the support and acknowledgment of other people, this has the potential to create pain.
One can then feel unworthy or inferior to other people and that doing what one loves and enjoys is only available for certain people; and other people simply have to settle and compromise.
What is going on here is that one is comparing themselves with what other people are doing. And based on this, ones wellbeing is being affected and therefore controlled by others. One of the reasons for this is that one is disconnected from their own self.
As a result of this, ones awareness is more likely to be external in nature and ones internal world of answers is then likely to be ignored.
It then becomes a habit to look towards others for the signs and cues as to what one should be doing and what will gain the most approval.
However, what can lead to this pattern going unnoticed and out of one’s awareness, is that it could be what one has done from the very beginning. This means that it is the only thing that one knows.
This can relate to looking outside and in comparing oneself with other people. Perhaps one was brought up this way, by being constantly compared to other siblings, family members, friends and different people in society.
What Was Valued
There may have also been certain skills or behaviours that were defined as worthy and valuable. And others that were ignored and rejected due to not being interpreted as valuable or worthy; in the eyes of one’s caregivers or other family members.
Here one will have had to have denied and ignored all that was not acceptable within the family system; which means that parts of oneself had to be rejected and cut off.
This means that one will have had to either gone along with what was valued and gone against their own truth or to have somehow found a way of developing their gifts. And being so dependent on ones caregivers, it is unlikely that the second option would have had much of a chance.
Diamonds In The Rough
Although these gifts that make up our purpose may have been denied and hidden through our early experiences; they will never completely disappear. There significance will always catch our attention in some way or another.
It may be that we have done something for so long, that we have taken it for granted and don’t realise how competent we are at it. Maybe we admire and appreciate certain things about other people and yet have never considered the reasons for this. And how we would love to do what they do.
Some of our gifts and skills will need to be embraced and continually developed. And this may mean that one has to be patient and persistent.
There is likely to be other challenges that may stop one from going about achieving a connection to what they really value. This is something known as approval. On one side one may have the desire or calling to do what fills them with passion and happiness, but on the other side is the effect of the ego mind.
The ego mind will have created an association of familiarity with the identity that one has, and this means that one’s ego mind will feel safe by identifying with the current story.
Not only will these associations relate to ones current environment, they will also have been carried on from ones childhood. This was a time when one was vulnerable and completely dependent on other people’s approval and acceptance for their survival.
One may also carry shame or guilt around their truth gifts, as a result of the projections of the people that were around them when they tried to reveal them in the very beginning.
This can lead to feelings of deep rejection and abandonment, should one embrace who they really are and the gifts that they hold so dear. It is unlikely that the present day will be the same as before, but due to the minds associations, even if it doesn’t happen, the minds imagination will make one feel as though it will and is happening all over again.
These associations and patterns of the past will not change overnight. However, with the persistence and patience they will begin to change. And as this occurs, many things will start to happen. One may find that they are very good at something they would never have imagined or thought about. Maybe one has been doing something for years and now wants to make it a bigger part of one’s life. It may be that one starts to develop the confidence to do what they have always wanted, but didn’t believe in themselves enough to follow their truth before.
It could mean that the people one associates with will change, as they don’t mirror who one really is. And many other outcomes can transpire as this process unfolds.
One thing is for certain here and that is life is too short to fulfil another person’s truth or what we believe is another person’s truth. But in order for one to realise this, it might take a while.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.