Putting People On A Pedestal Stops Us From Growing

I was thinking the other day about how much of an obsession there is with celebrities in today’s world. Actors, sports stars, singers, and even people who have been on reality TV are often seen as gods/goddesses.

On the surface, it can seem as though most people in the west are not very religious and have moved on from this, but it might be more accurate to say that they simply have different gods now. In general, they don’t look up to someone in the sky, but what a lot of people do do, is look up to the people they see on TV or on a stage, for instance.

Everyday Life

Yet, this is not the only way in which this takes place; there is also something that can take place in the relationships that we have with others. For example, someone could be in a relationship where they put their partner on a pedestal.

It is then not going to matter that this person is a fellow human being, as they will see them as being above them. Or, if they don’t see them as some kind of god/goddess, they could see them as a mother or a father.

One Direction

Through seeing another person as being better than they are, they will end up feeling less-than them. It is then going to be incredibly difficult for them to have a balanced relationship with this person.

In addition to see them in this way - and feeling inferior as a result - they might allow this person to treat them badly. Either way, seeing someone in this way is going to make it hard for them to truly connect with them.

Another Parent

Seeing their partner as a mother/father is also going to lead to the same outcome. What this comes down to is that when someone is unable to see another person as just another human being, it is likely to show that their attention is in their head and that they are projecting parts of themselves onto them.

The reason for this is that the mind sees things from a place of duality, whereas the heart doesn’t. So, if they were in their body it would allow them to see that the other person is inherently no better or worse than they are.

A Barrier

If they were to tune into what is taking place in their body, they may find that they are carrying a lot of pain. Therefore, as a way to avoid this pain and to feel better, they end up displacing the ‘positive’ parts of themselves that they haven’t developed onto the other person (and if they displace the ‘negative’ parts of themselves that they don’t want to own onto the other person, it will cause them to see them as less-than they are).

Being obsessed with the person who they have projected these parts onto will be a way to keep this pain at bay, and by identifying with their own projection, it will allow them to elevate themselves. If they were to no longer see their partner in this way, they would have to face their own inner wounds.

The Benefit

This would cause them to experience a lot of pain, but what it would do is allow them to grow and to develop. And, as they are no longer projecting so much onto their partner, they might be able to truly connect to them.

Instead of having a surface level relationship where they are stuck in their heard, they will be able to open their heart and to experience intimacy; then again, if this was to happen their relationship might come to an end. It can all depend on if their partner is willing to work on themselves and if the attraction between them is still there. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk