On one side, there are people that are happy to receive but have trouble when it comes to giving, and, on the other side, there are people who are happy to give but have trouble when it comes to receiving. Nonetheless, although both of these types of people are going to experience difficulties, it doesn’t mean that this is something that is widely known.
The reason for this is that even if someone does have trouble receiving, this might not stand out. Instead, they can merely be seen as someone who is a ‘giver’ and who cares deeply about other people.
From The Outside
Someone like this is then going to be ‘selfless’, while someone who rarely gives is going to be ‘selfish’; one of them is then ‘good’ but the other is ‘bad’. It would be easy to go along with this outlook, yet there is clearly a lot more to it.
Still, what can make it hard to see that there is more to this is that if someone has the tendency to give, they can come across as happy and full of life. The mask what they wear around others is then going to belie what is taking place within them.
In order for someone to live a fulfilling life, they will need to be able to give and to be able to receive. Without being able to do this, they are almost certainly going to end up running on empty.
The truth is that their needs are just as important as anyone else’s needs. And, through having the ability to receive, they will have the energy that they need to truly be there for other people.
With this in mind, the best way for one to serve others will be for them to make sure that they don’t neglect themselves. If they do, they will only be able to offer a watered down version of themselves.
There are likely to be people who will pick up on this, realising that one is not taking care of their own needs. There could be times when this is pointed out and times when it doesn’t leave anther persons mind.
One Big Challenge
So, if someone has trouble receiving, they may have found that this has caused them a number of problems over the years. They could find that they have given so much to others and received very little in return.
Their relationships could then be out of balance and they may have found it hard to support themselves financially. Lots of energy will go out towards others but very little energy will come back to them.
The Offer is There
At the same time, this doesn’t mean that no one has ever offered them anything, though. When this has happened, however, they may find that they have had the inclination to say no or that it was hard for them to embrace what had been given to them.
Based on this, one will be able to see that it is not that they are a victim who has no control over whether they receive anything or not. For whatever reason, not receiving anything is likely to be what feels comfortable at a deeper level.
This shows that something isn’t right as receiving is something that should feel comfortable. One way for them to gain a deeper understanding of why they are experience life in this way would be for them to imagine that someone has given them something.
By doing this, they may end up feeling guilty and as though they dont deserve to receive what they have been given. Being a giver is then going to stop them from having to experience these feelings.
What may also happen is that their body could tighten up, with receiving being perceived as something that would compromise their very survival. Said another way, they won’t feel safe enough to receive.
If one can only relate to one of these experiences, it can still be hard for them to comprehend why they respond in this way. There is a reason why they experience life in his way, and it is probably due to what took place during their early years.
At this stage of their life, their needs may have been seen as a burden, causing them to gradually disconnect from them. They may have been more like a caregiver than a child, having to fulfil their caregiver/s needs.
Also, this could have been a time when they are physically abused, which would have overwhelmed their system. Shutting down would have made it hard for them to receive and to take in life, but it would have stopped them from experiencing so much pain.
What happened to them all those years ago will be in the past but their body will still be carrying the emotional pain that they experienced all those years ago. The emotional pain that they have experienced throughout their adult life can also be on top of this emotional pain.
The emotional pain within them will be weighting them down, and this will need to be released for them to become more receptive. Furthermore, healing this pain will allow them to embrace their feminine aspect – the part of them that is to do with receiving.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.