If one was to strike up a conversation with someone who they are attracted to, they may end up being rejected by them. Now, one way of looking at this would be to say that this person didn’t reject them, they just rejected the version of them that showed up and there can be a number of reasons as to why this happened.
But, with this aside, one can end up experiencing a far amount of pain and this experience could stay with them for quite some time. The next time they see someone who they like, they might not take the next step and they could be this way for a little while.
Now, not only can someone feel rejected from time to time, they can also feel this way practically all of the time. However, if feeling this way is the norm, they can do their best to keep this feeling at bay.
As a result, this feeling can generally be just outside of their conscious awareness but it will still define their life. This can mean that it will be a challenge for them to express themselves and to just be.
The reason for this is that they will do what they can to tune into other people’s needs and to please them. This will decrease their chances of being rejected by others, yet it will also make it hard for them to express their true-self.
They could also spend a fair amount of time worrying about what other people think and say about them. It could often be seen as being only a matter of time before the people in their life walk away from them.
Out of Alignment
Through doing what they can to please others and spending so much of their precious time and energy worrying about what others think and say, it is likely to mean that their life is not very fulfilling. For this to change, they will need to tune into their own needs and to use their time and energy differently.
Even so, this is likely to be seen as being too much of a risk and something that would put their very survival at risk. If this is not something that that ever enters their conscious mind, it will still be something this is running in the background.
How it Can Play Out
Nonetheless, although they will do what they can to avoid being rejected, it is unlikely that they will be able to completely prevent this from taking place. So, when they are at work or out socialising, there can be times when they are rejected and moments when they believe that this has taken place.
Ultimately, a big part of them will expect people to reject them (and this will be what feels comfortable), and this is why they will be drawn to people and situations where they are rejected and believe that they have been rejected even when they haven’t. It can also cause them to behave in ways that will cause other people to reject them.
Up and Down
When it comes to their mental and emotional state, they can often feel anxious and edgy, only being able to relax around certain people or if they have had something to drink. If they feel safe and a lot of tension has built up inside them, they could end up experiencing a lot of anger and rage if they have been rejected or think that this has taken place.
Feeling embarrassed could be something else that they are familiar with and this could cause them to be submissive and easy-going in social settings. They may even do what they can to avoid social settings and spend a lot of time by themselves.
The big question is: why would someone experience life in this way? It could be said that something, or a number of things, took place during their early years that had a profound effect on them.
By being rejected at this stage of their life, a stage of their life when they were ego-centric and personalised everything, they came to believe that there was something inherently wrong with them. Losing touch with their true-self and creating a false-self was then a way for them to try to be accepted by others and to be worthy of life.
One might be able to relate to this, that is, of course, if they haven’t blocked out what took place when they were younger, or their early years may have been fairly nurturing. This could illustrate that it wasn’t what took place at this stage of their life that had the biggest effect on them.
Instead, what took place whilst they were in their mother’s womb may have left a deep imprint on their being. For whatever reason, their mother might not have been able to provide them with the nutrients that they needed and she might not have wanted them, which would have been picked up by them.
This would have been a time when they were in a very underdeveloped state and they wouldn’t have been able to think, yet, they would have still picked up on what was going on for their mother. Once again, everything would have been personalised and it wouldn’t have been possible for them to realise that there was nothing wrong with them.
Consequently, by the time that they were born, they would have already felt unwanted and unworthy of life. Nevertheless, without this understanding, what they were like when they were born and are now like as an adult can be put down to their genetics.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.
They will carry the emotional experience of being rejected and this pain will need to be acknowledged and worked though; there are likely to be many layers of pain inside them. To get to this point, they may need to let go of a number of different defences.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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