If one was to get in touch with one of their friends and to ask them how they are, they may find that they return the favour. When this takes place, it might not end up standing out, and this is because this is how they generally respond.
What this can show is that their relationship is based on give and take, and both of their needs will often end up being met. One way of looking at this would be to say that this will be the ideal.
The Odd Occasion
When this doesn’t take place, it is not going to be something that one is used to, and so it will be easier for them to ignore. This could be a time when a friend is going through a challenging time and hasn’t got the energy to behave as they usually would.
In this case, one might empathise with what they are going through and not expect them to ask them how they are. One’s focus will be on what they are going through and as time passes, it should return to how it was before.
A Similar Experience
And, if one was going through a tough time in their life, they could also behave in the same way. They could be so caught up in what is taking place that they won’t even think about anyone else.
This is something that could take place if a loved one has passed on or has been diagnosed with a serious illness, for instance. After they have settled down, they could soon go back to how they were before.
When a friendship is made up of moments like this, it is going to be mutually beneficial relationship. As a whole, one person is not going to receive any more than the other person does.
And as they are both going to have their own needs, it is going to have a positive effect on their life to know someone like this. Along with the interest that each person has in the other person’s life; there will be the support that they give to each other.
A Big Influence
To have one person like this is in their life is going to be good for their wellbeing and, if they have a number of people in their life like this, it will be even better. Then if one friend has a lot going on and is busy, they will have other people who they can reach out to.
But when one only has one person in their life who is like this, they are going to be overly reliant on them. This friend could end up in a relationship and they might not be as available as they were before.
In addition to what happens when they ask their friends how they are doing, there will also be what takes place after. During this time, each person will get the chance to share what has been taking place in their life, amongst other things.
This is not to say that one person will talk for three minutes and then the other person will talk for the same amount of time. What it comes down to is that this won’t be a time when one person will have all of the attention on them.
For A Reason
If it is, it could be a sign that one of them is going through a tough time or something significant has taken place in their life. It is then going to be normal for the other person to want to hear all about it.
When each of them has the chance to talk, it will show that they are interested what the other person has to say. This will show that they value the other person, and this is how a friendship should be.
On the other hand, one could have someone in their life who doesn’t act in this way, and this is likely to mean that it will be a one-sided relationship. In fact, one could have a number of people in their life who are like this.
One could ask them how they are and they could answer them, and this could be as far as it will go. They won’t take the time to return the favour, and their needs will end up being ignored.
This could be a time when the other person will use this as an opportunity to endlessly talk about themselves. If they were to ask one how they are, it could be clear that they are not really interested.
It can be as if they are doing this just so they can have the chance to talk about themselves. Based on how this person behaves, it will be clear that they believe their needs are more important than anyone else’s.
The Centre of the Universe
If one was to experience life in the same way as they do, they may see other people as an extension of themselves. Or if this is not the case, they may see other people as not having the same level of importance as they do.
Through seeing life in one of these ways, there is going to be no reason for them to behave any different. Through being this way, it is going to be more or less impossible for them to have any real friends.
There are a number of reasons as to why someone would behave in this way, and this could be due to what their childhood was like. However, what matters is that one takes a step back and looks into why they would be friends with someone like this.
What they could find is that they don’t believe that their needs are important, and they might not value themselves. Through being this way, it sets them up to tolerate one-sided relationships with people who are self-centred.
If one can relate to this, it will be a good idea for them to change how they see their needs and how they see themselves. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.