If one was to think about the people in their life who they are close to, they may find that these people accept them as they are. Consequently, this will allow them to feel at ease when they are in their presence.
Through being this way, one will be able to express who they are around them, and there will then be no reason for them to put on an act. One will have a deep connection with these people as opposed to a surface level connection.
Naturally, this is going to be far more fulfilling than it would be if they only shared parts of themselves. It might not matter what is on their mind, as they could feel happy to open up to them.
There is then going to be what is taking place within them, and what is taking place within the people in their life. One will feel comfortable enough to open up and these people will behave in a manner that shows that they also feel comfortable with this.
If, on the other hand, this wasn’t the case, it wouldn’t be possible for one to have this kind of connection with these people. One would spend time these people, but they wouldn’t be able to be themselves.
The Main Part
When one feels comfortable with themselves, it will be a lot easier for them to meet people who are the same. This is why if someone doesn’t have people around them who accept them, they will need to look into what is taking place within them.
The alternative would be to try and change others, but this might only get them so far. For one thing, one can only do so much when it comes to how other people behave.
If one was to think about what it is like be around people who accept them as they are, they could feel extremely grateful. The feedback that they get from these people will validate who they are, and they will feel as though they are enough.
Their need to be seen for who they are will be met, as will their need to be appreciated. One will be able to just be when they are around them; they won’t need to act like a human doing when they are in their company.
This could be how their life has been for as long as they can remember, and this could show that their early years were supportive. Through being treated well by their caregiver/s, it set them up to feel comfortable with themselves.
At the same time, their life might not have been this way for very long, and this could illustrate that they had to heal themselves. One will then be only too familiar with what it is like to have people in their life who are not right for them.
A Way of Life
When one hasn’t taken to steps to change their life, and they still spend time around people who don’t accept them, their life is going to be a lot harder than it needs to be. There will be how they feel when they are with someone like this, and then there will be how they feel when their time together has come to an end.
One may find that they feel as though they need to put an act, as this is the only way that they will be accepted by them. Their priority is then not going to be to please themselves; it will be to please the other person.
If they do listen to their own needs and feelings, and allow this information to define how they behave, they could find that it causes them to be criticised. Putting on an act is then going to be a way to them to limit the amount of negative feedback that comes their way.
Their friends could have tendency to tell them how to behave and what they should be doing with their life. It is then not going to be much of a surprise for one to feel as though they are not enough when they spend time with them.
And, after they have spent time with them, it could take them a while to recover. In fact, they may find that they don’t feel a lot different even when they are not in their company, and this will show how destructive their relationship is.
Having someone like this is their life is not going to add anything; it is only going to take away their precious life force. If one was to look into why they put up with this kind of behaviour they may find that it’s because they feel worthless.
A New Beginning
On one level, being around people like this causes them to suffer but, at a deeper level, it is what feels comfortable. And until they no longer feel this way, they will continue to tolerate people who are not right for them.
Perhaps they were brought up by people who were not in a good place, and this caused them to be abused and/or neglected. One would have come to believe that they are worthless and this is why they are being treated in this way.
Their early years would have been a time when they were around people who felt worthless and their adult years will be no different. But as one feels worthless, it can stop them from being able to see why the people in their life are trying to change them.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.