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When it comes to fixing something, it is not uncommon for some kind of diagnosis to take place. Once this has taken place, the appropriate action can then be taken, and before long, it could be back to normal.
Alternatively, someone could find that something doesn’t work and instead of looking into why this is the case, they could simply come to their own conclusion. When this happens, it could mean that they try to fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed or they might end up doing the right thing. Two Outcomes If they were to try to fix something that doesn’t need to be fixed, for instance, it could set them up to experience more problems. This is primarily because they could overlook what needs to be looked up. On one hand, this may mean that they end up in the same position, and this means they are going to be wasting time. On the other hand, through fixing the wrong thing, it could create even more problems. Consequences The kind of problems that will arise if someone was to fix the wrong thing can all depend on what they are trying to fix. For example, if they were trying to fix a car, the consequences could be far more severe than if they were trying to fix a book shelf. When it comes to a car, numerous things can go wrong, but the same can’t be said when it comes to a book shelf. In order to learn about the former, it may take a number of years, but when it comes to the later, it might only take a matter of minutes. The Logical Approach Therefore, it could be said that the logical approach will be for a diagnosis to occur, and this can then make it possible for the right steps to be taken. Although this will take longer than simply coming to a conclusion and then taking action; it is likely to stop them from experiencing additional problems as time passes. If someone needs something to be fixed straight away, or they are unable to delay gratification, it can be lot harder for them to step back and to find out what is taking place. This is then similar to someone being so hungry that they end up eating food that is not good for them. Patience It is going to be important for someone to be patient, and for them to focus on the benefits of doing something properly. However, even if a diagnosis was to take place, it doesn’t mean that it will be the right one. There is the chance that more than one diagnosis will need to occur, and they can then come to their own conclusion. This can all depend on what someone needs to be assisted with. Relationships If someone had relationships problems, for instance, they might reach out to a friend and ask for their opinion. After listening to their feedback, they could believe that their friend knew exactly what was going on. At the same time, this might not take place, and they could end up reading a book or even going to see some kind of therapist. Once again, they could come to believe that they have found the answers they were looking for. The Challenge The kind of answers that someone needs is likely to depend on what their relationship problems are. Therefore, if they are unable to experience intimacy, they might not have the same problem as someone who feels unattractive. Of if they felt uncomfortable around the opposite sex; they might not have the same problem as someone who ends up with people they are not attracted to. This shows that it will be important for them to find the answers that actually match up with their own experience. One-Size-Fits-All Yet while this approach will give them the chance to get to the bottom of why they are experiencing life as they are, it doesn’t mean this will be will be what takes place. Instead, they can end up being given a label, or put in some kind of box. In this case, the reason they are experiencing life as they are can be because of one reason, and once they take care of it, their life will change. Now, this is not to say that labels are negative per se, as they can give someone a way to understand what is going on. Inaccurate Assessment Yet when the label they are given doesn’t match up with what is actually taking place, it can set them up to go down the wrong path, so to speak. As a result, instead of being assisted; they can end up experiencing unnecessary problems. When someone has relationship problems, they can end up being told that they have ‘low self-esteem’. Therefore, the way for them to improve their relationships will be to develop ‘high self esteem’. Self-Esteem When someone has self-esteem, they are likely to value themselves, and it could be said that this is a vital part of having fulfilling relationships, among other things. Based on this outlook, it will be normal for someone to have relationships problems if they have low self-esteem. Self-esteem can then be seen as a missing ingredient, and through adding this ingredient, their life will then change. It is then going to be important for them to find ways to increase this part of them, and this could mean that they are encouraged to ‘think positive’, to use affirmations and to change their beliefs, for instance. A Deeper Look It could also be said that this is a very surface level approach, and one that doesn’t take into account what could be taking place at a deeper level. The point of focus is on what is taking place in the mind and there is no consideration as to what is taking place in the body. Through having the need to add things, it can also create the impression that they are not enough as they are. But through pumping themselves up with self-esteem, they will soon be able to feel as though they are enough. The Body Yet even if someone does feel as though they are enough, it doesn’t mean their relationship problems will disappear. This is because it will also be important for them to feel comfortable with something. If their body doesn’t feel safe with intimacy, for instance, it doesn’t matter how they feel about themselves. Along with this, if they are carrying toxic shame in their body, it will be normal for them to feel as though they are not enough. Awareness What this shows is that it might be necessary for someone to let go of something as opposed to just adding something. They may have an emotional build-up that needs to be processed, as well as trauma that needs to be dealt with. If someone only focuses on their mind and raises their self-esteem, they could find that even though they feel good about themselves, there life is no different. When it comes to letting go of what is in their body, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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