When someone starts a new relationship there is a strong chance that it will be their intention to be with someone who is available. In this case, one is in a position where they are ready to share their life with someone else.
It could then be said that they have the right outlook, and it could mean that they will be on the path to a fulfilling relationship. A new chapter of their life has then begun and one could be grateful that they have met the right one, so to speak.
A Different Experience
However, even though one can start a relationship and hope that the other person is available, it doesn’t mean that they are actually available. In the beginning, one could act as though they are ready to settle down and then as time goes on, this could soon change.
This would then show that while part of them is ready to settle down, another part of them is not on the same page. So although one could go along with the relationship and pretend that everything is fine, they could also walk away.
On the other hand, one could find that although they ready to share their life with someone, the same can’t be said for the person they are with. At first, they may have created the impression that they were ready but then as time has passed, a different side of them has appeared.
Through coming across as though they were ready, it would have been normal for one to believe that they were with the right person. If, on the other hand, they were like this from the start, it would have been a lot easier for them to realise what was taking place.
What this shows is that people don’t always reveal their true intentions and while this can be a sign that they are trying to deceive, it might not be this black and white. At times, someone could go out of their way to mislead another, and at other times, it could be something that takes place just outside of their awareness.
So when one comes across as though they are available in the beginning of a relationship, it could be act they have put in place to get their needs met. Alternatively, it could be something that they are not fully aware of.
When this happens, it could be a sign that they are in a lot of pain and their primary focus is then to feel better. Thus, they are not focused on taking advantage of another human being; they are concerned with their own wellbeing.
Yet if one has crossed paths with someone like this and they are also in pain, it might not be possible for them to feel better if the relationship was to come to an end. Ultimately, one can feel as though they have been used and this can be hard for them to handle.
What could give one a sense of relief is that they have found out and that this is not something that has lasted any longer. This will then allow them to gradually move on from what they have been through.
During this time, one could wonder why they ended up with this person, and why his person ended up with them. Looking into the first question might allow them to change their life; whereas looking into the second question may only allow them to settle their mind down.
The Big Question
If the person one was in a relationship with was in pain, it could be because they have only just left another relationship. The pain they experienced when this came to an end is then still within them.
This will then show that they didn’t take the time to process their pain; they ended up looking for someone to take it away. Based on this, one would have seen as someone who would make them feel better.
Through being this way, it would have been possible for them to have a relationship, and this is because they were running away from themselves. They would have been able to offer their mind and their body, but their heart would not have been available.
By replacing one person with another, it would have kept their pain at bay, and this may have been the only need they had. It would then have been necessary for them to come on strong and to create the right impression in order to keep one around.
Having said that, if one was to look back on how the other person behaved in the beginning and throughout their time together, they may start to see that there were signs. But one may have overlooked these due to their need to be with someone.
If the other person came on strong from the start, this would have shown that something wasn’t right. As when it comes to finding the right person, it is generally better to take the time to get to know them.
When this happens, they are not being controlled by their emotions, and this will make it easier for them to make better decisions. Along with this, they may have also spoken about their ex a lot.
One may also have found that although they were attentive at certain times, there may have been other times when they were distant. Their behaviour was then either hot or cold, and this would have been hard to deal with.
If one was to look into why they ended up with this person, they may find out that is because they are also unavailable. Although they thought they were ready to have a relationship, this was nothing more than an illusion.
In this case, it might be important for one to work with a therapist and to read up on relationships. This will allow them to gain a better understanding of themselves and to work through what is stopping them from experiencing intimacy.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.