Relationships: Can A Man Have A Healthy Relationship With A Woman If She Has A History Of Abusive Relationships?
If a man was to meet a woman who he had a good connection with, he might want to take things further. So, in the upcoming weeks and months, he could take the time to get to know her better.
A Better Understanding
Through taking this approach, it will give him the opportunity to see if she would be a good match. During this time, he could find out about what her parents are like and the kind of men she has been with in the past.
What this will show is that even though he is drawn to this woman, it is not going to stop him from being able to think clearly. The emotional part of his brain is not going to take over, and this could save him a lot of problems further down the line.
If, on the other hand, he only wanted to share his body with this woman, there would be no reason for him to take this route. He is not going to have the desire to have a relationship with her.
Therefore, it won’t matter if she has a good relationship with her parents or what kind of men she has been with. This is then similar to how one won’t need to find out how safe a car is if they only want to sit in it whilst it is stationary.
A Different Story
Yet, if they wanted to drive the car around, it would be vital for them to find out more about it. Further down the line, they might want to have other people in the car, and this would be another thing for them to think about.
In the same way, if a man wanted to have children with a woman, it would be just as important for him to find out more about her. When this happens, it is not just going to be him and the car, he will also have passengers.
Paying the Price
The alternative would be for him to be controlled by his emotions and not to the take the time to get to know a woman. Now, there is the chance that everything will work out fine, but if it doesn’t, it could cause him a lot of problems.
This could then have a negative effect on his ability to focus on other areas of his life and, if he has children with this woman, it is going to be even worse. What will also make a difference is if he ends up getting married to her.
A Lot of Damage
There can then be what he will go through emotionally, what will happen to his finances, and it might also end up being a challenge for him to see his own children. If something like this was to happen, he might see that there were signs in the beginning that that he ignored.
The illusions that were created in this mind will have dropped and he might wonder how this happened. An experience like this could turn him against women, but this is going to stop him from being able to fulfil his need to connect to another women.
If something like this was to take place, it might be a good idea for him to reach out for external support. This will give him the chance to look into why he was drawn to a woman like this and to work through the pain that is within him.
This is a process that could take a number of months, or it might take even longer; but it will be worth it in the long run. Over time, this will enable him to change his behaviour and it will allow him to meet a woman who is different.
Along with men who just go head first into a relationship and don’t take the time to get to know the woman; there are going to be others who have a different approach. A man can then find out about what she has been through in the past and this can draw him even closer to her.
For example, he could find out that she has been with a number of men who are abusive, and this could make him want to rescue her. His protective instincts will take over and he will have one thing in mind.
A New Beginning
He can then believe that he will be able to give her what she hasn’t had before; a relationships with a man who will treat her well. There is, of course, the chance that he will be able to make this a reality.
If this was to take place, it will probably allow him to feel good about himself and as though he has done the right thing. At the same time, he could soon realise that this is not going to work.
A Stray Dog
Consequently, this can be the same as trying to domesticate a dog that has been living outside for most of its life. He might soon see that it’s not that this woman just happened to end up with abusive men; it’s that this is what she feels comfortable with.
And unless she is willing to take a step back and to see why this is, it is not going to be possible for her to have a healthy relationship. She will be with a man who treats her with respect, but she will be treating him as though he is no better than the men she has been with in the past.
There is the chance that the only way he will be able to have a healthy relationship with her is if she has therapy. Still, if she was to heal herself, she might no longer be interested in him.
It will also be a good idea for the man to look into why he has the need to rescue this woman, as this could show that he is trying to avoid himself. Perhaps he feels ashamed of his own needs and fears being with a woman who is available.
When it omens to looking into why he is drawn to a woman like this and dealing with what is taking place within him, it might be necessary for him to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.