While one could be in a relationship that is going as they would like it to go, there is also the chance that this is not the case. As a result of this, they could be in a position where they believe it is time for them to move on.
This could be a sign that they don’t feel comfortable with the other person, and it is then going to be a challenge for them to spend time with them. Along with this, they could also spend a lot of time thinking about how harmful they are when they are not in their company.
Having this person in their life is then going to take a lot from them, and it is not going to give them a lot in return. And when they are in the other person’s presence, they could end up being abused in some way.
The other person could put them down, or they may even physically harm them. However, there is also the chance that it is not this extreme, and that they are with someone who undermines them in other ways.
Now, this is not to say that what is taking place can’t be classed as abuse; what it means is that it might be harder for one to realise what is taking place. For instance, they may find that they are only aware of what is taking place when they spend time away from them.
Or if this is not the case, one may have come to see what is taking place through what the people around them have said. A friend or a family member, for instance, may have pointed out that their partners behaviour is not right.
After this took place, it may then have been relatively easy for one to see what is taking place. The support that they are giving them may have given them the confidence to pay attention to how they feel, and then to act on these feelings.
If one is not with someone who behaves in this way, they may find that they rarely get to see their partner. There may have been a time when this wasn’t the case, but as time passed this gradually changed.
One could look back and see that they were a big part of their life and now they are simply a bit part. It is then going to be as if one was in the starting line up of a team and now they are watching from the stands.
Alternatively, one could feel as though they no longer have the same kind of connection that they had in the past. This could be because their interests have changed and/or that they no longer support who they are.
For example, one could talk about something they are passionate about and their partner could belittle them or walk away. Therefore, one may feel as though they need to hide certain parts of themselves when they are in their company.
What this emphasises is that there are all kinds of reason as to why one would want to move on from the person they are with. And while one may find that the people around them support their decision, they may find that there are some people who don’t.
Yet if one is with someone who is holding them back and they are unwilling to change, then there is going to be no reason for them to stay with them. The relationship could then come to an end and that will be the end of it, or it could mean that they will end up getting back together again.
A Wake up Call
When one leaves the other person, it can give them the chance to think about their relationship with new eyes. Also, the person they were with can also reflect on their own behaviour.
During this time, the other person may also begin to see what they didn’t behave in the right way, and they may then open up about what has been taking place for them. It could then be said that they needed one to end the relationship in order to come to their senses, so to speak.
A New Beginning
They could then decide to get back together again, and this could mean that they will end up having a relationship that is mutually fulfilling. The other person will be only too aware of what they need to do to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again, and based on how they felt when it came to an end, they are not going to want it to happen again.
Ultimately, one is likely to have a clear sense of what matters, and this will keep them on track. This is not to say that they will always get everything right, but they will be willing to do their best.
On the other hand, one could decide to get back with their ex and the same problems could arise once again. After listening to what they had to say, one may have come to believe that they would change.
Their behaviour may have also changed during this time, however, this would have simply been a way for them to draw one back in. Or this could show that although they believed they would change, it isn’t possible for them to make it a reality.
What this comes down to is that actions speak louder than words, and this is why one will only know if they have changed if they get back with them. And even if they were to do this, it could take a matter of weeks or even months before they can be sure that they have actually changed.
If one has left a relationship because it wasn’t working, it will be important for them to pay attention to what is taking place within them. As if they feel mentally and emotionally unstable when it comes to an end, they could end up getting back with someone for the wrong reason.
During this time, they can also pay attention to their intuition and listen to what their close friends and family have to say. If they are finding it hard to think clearly, they may need to work with a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.