There are those that feel comfortable in their own company and in the company of others, and there are those that don’t. When it comes to the former, it is likely to show that someone has a strong sense of self.
Due to how developed they are, they won’t feel empty when they are by themselves and they won’t lose themselves when they are around others. One way of looking at this would be to say that they will have the best of both worlds.
When they are in their own company, they will have the opportunity to connect to what is taking place inside them. So, in addition, to being able to reflect on what has been going on in their life, they will be able to connect to their needs and feelings.
If this didn’t take place and they were always around others, they would probably lose touch with who they are and their true essence. It wouldn’t matter how strong their sense of self was as, over time, what is going on around them would still have an impact on them.
When they are in their own company, they will be able to connect deeply to others. What they receive when they are around others will be things that they are unable to receive when they are by themselves.
In other words, they will be an interdependent human being, not an independent human being. If they could give themselves everything that they needed, they wouldn’t need others.
A Different Reality
Therefore, if someone spends most of their time around others, it could mean that they won’t have a good connection with themselves. Most, if not all, of their life, might not reflect who they really are.
But, if they have a strong need to avoid spending time by themselves, this might not be something that crosses their mind. In a way, this will be a compromise that they are happy to make, albeit unconsciously.
The Other Extreme
On the other hand, if someone spends most of their time by themselves, they may have a good connection with themselves. Nonetheless, what they will miss out on will be the benefits of human connection.
This could be how they have consciously chosen to behave, or they could be far more to it. Thanks to what takes place when they do spend time around others, they may just feel more comfortable in their own company.
If they used to spend more time around others, they may often felt restricted and found it hard to maintain their sense of self. The way for them to deal with this would have been to only spend a small amount of time around others.
Even if this was the case, their need to connect to others could still cause them to extend themselves to others at certain times. When this does happen, it might not be long until they feel the need to retract once more.
If they were to take a step back and to reflect on what takes place when they are around others, they may find that they feel smothered and trapped. They may even find that it is often hard for them to breathe.
As they are a human being and these people are also human beings, it might be hard for them to understand why they feel this way. They may have felt this way if they have been in an intimate relationship too.
Not only would this have confused them, it would have most likely also confused the person they were with. Simply being with this person may have caused them to feel smothered and trapped, without them needing to do anything in particular.
Consciously, what is taking place will be a mystery to them and those they have crossed paths with. However, if they were able to remember what took place during their early years, how they experience life as an adult could start to make sense.
At the start of their life, they would have been defenceless; they wouldn’t have been able to protect themselves. This is why they would have needed caregivers who were in tune with them.
But, although this is what they needed in order to develop in the right way and to develop boundaries, they may have had at least one caregiver who was emotionally shut down and thus, wasn’t able to respond to their needs. The outcome of this is that one may have been smothered on a regular basis, causing them to feel trapped.
The Body Remembers
If this wasn’t the first time that they felt this way, it could mean that it relates to what took place during their birth or whilst they were in their mother’s womb. Irrespective of when they first felt this way, though, it would have been when their brain wasn’t very developed.
This would have stopped them from being able to form memories of what was taking place. The years would have passed, and what took place will be in the past, but the effects of what took place will have stayed inside them.
If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.