There are times when one will meet someone without knowing anything about them and then there are other times when this won’t be the case. In this instance, one will have heard about the other before person they have even met them.
When this happens, one can feel as though they already know the other person, and even though they haven’t met them, they may feel the need to behave in a certain way. And the way in which they behave can all depend on how the other person describes them.
This can mean that their first impression of the other person won’t be formed through being in their presence; it will be formed through listening to what other people say. It then might not matter how accurate their descriptions are, as one can believe they are finding out what someone is like.
However, if one hears what other people have to say and then decides to come to their own conclusion, they might be able see for themselves. But, this doesn’t mean they won’t be influenced by what they hear.
If one was to receive positive feedback about the other person, it might not matter if they were to accept everything they heard. The idea they have of the other person is likely to be positive, and when they meet them, this may allow them to start off on the ‘right’ foot, so to speak.
At the same time, this might stop them from being able to develop a balanced perspective of the other person. Instead of being able to see what the other person is like, they could end up being caught up in the idea they have in their mind.
When one receives negative feedback about the other person, it could end up causing them to experience the other person in the same way. This could then be taken as a sign that the other person was right and this might not be the case.
What it could come down to is that one acted in a certain way around the other person, and this then caused them to respond in a certain way. Therefore, even though one can then come to believe that the other person was right, it might be more accurate to say that they played a part in why the other person acted as they did.
Out of Balance
Even if they do see things that go against what they were told about the other person, they might end up blocking them out. Part of them might also feel the need to go along with what they were told in order to please whoever told them.
If they were to go against what they heard, it might end up having a negative effect on the relationship they have with someone else, for instance. It could then be even harder for them to think for themselves.
Sense of Self
Having said that, if one has a strong sense of who they are and they are also able to think for themselves, they might have a better chance of seeing both sides of someone. Yet, it would be inaccurate to say that it is therefore possible for one to see the other person for who they are.
How one perceives another person is always being shaped by what is taking place within them. Even if they don’t have an impression of someone before they meet them, the experience is still going to be filtered through their own mind.
It’s Too Late
If one was to develop a negative view of someone based on what they were to hear and this then defined how they behaved towards them, it might cause them to sabotage a relationship, for instance. On the other hand, if they were to meet the other person without knowing anything about them, they might end up seeing a different side.
After they have got to know them, they might wonder why the other person said what they did. It could then be said that as one was different around them, the other person also changed, and this is why they had a different experience.
It could be said that it is normal for one to believe that what they hear from the people they are close to is the truth, and this is because they are likely to trust them. They are unlikely to believe that they are trying to deceive them.
And there is a strong chance that they are not trying to do this; it could just be their intention to inform them about what the other person is like. They might not even consider the fact that they may have played a part in how the other person behaved.
The outlook they have may have been developed when they were in an emotionally charged state, or this could have been a time in their life where they were unable to think clearly. Time may then have passed, but they might not have taken the time to reflect on what took place.
If they were to do this, their outlook may soon change, and this could have an impact on what they tell others. After they do this, they might not even feel the need to tell them anything.
Having an Open Mind
One approach might be for one to hear what the other person says and to keep an open mind at the same time. They can then hear what the other person tells them without allowing it to define their outlook of the other person.
If they are close to the person who tells them and they have the same approach to life, they may have a similar experience to them, whereas, if they are not close to them and they have a different outlook, they might not. However, this might not be the case and regardless of how close they are, they might have a completely different experience.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.