While there can be people who one enjoys spending time with, there can be others who they don’t. What this will come down to is that they won’t feel the same around everyone, and this will be the result of how these people behave around them.
When it comes to the people who they don’t enjoy being around, one could find that it is normal for them to feel drained in their presence. But once they are no longer with them, it doesn’t mean that they will and up feeling better.
As even though they won’t be affecting them directly, they will still be having a negative effect on them. This comes down to the fact that it will take them a little while to recover from what they have gone through.
One could feel as though they have just had a boxing match with someone; with this being a match where they weren’t hit. They were involved in a gruelling experience, and what they have been through is still on their mind.
It is then going to be a challenge for them to carry on with the rest of their life, and it could take a while for them to focus their mind once gain. Therefore, it will be in their best interest to keep this person at bay.
Time to Time
If the other person only has this affect on them at certain times, they might not want to do this. They may prefer to only spend time with them during certain times, and this will stop them from having to end the relationship.
This is could be the best thing for them to do, and this will show that they are taking care of their own needs. But if this is something who only has a negative effect on their life, there is only going to be one option.
The alternative would be for them to continue to spend time with them, and this is going to cause them to suffer unnecessarily. What this is likely to show is that they don’t value themselves, and this is why they put up with this kind of behaviour.
In this case, being around people like this could be what feels comfortable at a deeper level. It is not going to matter what is taking place in their mind, as they could feel as though they have no control over their life.
Point of Focus
If one was to thinking about cutting someone like this out of their life, they could end up feeling bad. This could be a time when they will think about the effect it would have on the other person.
Thus, instead of thinking about what would be best for them, they are thinking about the other persons needs. One is then not working with themselves, they are working against themselves.
And while they can be used to spending time with people who drain them, it could be far worse. What this can mean is that these people could go out of their way to make them feel bad.
When it comes to the people who fall into the first category, they could generally feel low and not have a lot going on in their life. How they come across is generally going to be what has a negative effect on others
A Direct Attack
However, when it comes to the people who fall into the second category, they could have the tendency to put others down. How they come across and what they say is going to be what harms others.
It is highly likely that being around someone like this will have much bigger effect on them. The other person is not going to be complaining about their own life, for instance, they will be going out of their way to make one feel bad about themselves.
So unlike being around someone who is just negative, the effect is unlikely to wear of as time goes by. It is then not going to matter if they are around them or not, as they could feel the same.
One could find that how they see themselves has been defined by how this person treats them. Being around them is not going to be good for their wellbeing, but that doesn’t mean they will no longer see them.
But if they have been around someone like this and they no longer value themselves, it could be said that this is to be expected. The other person has worn them down, and now they don’t have the strength to get away.
Still, this doesn’t mean that the person who played a part in how they feel is in a better position. They could come across as though they have it all together, but at a deeper level they are also likely to feel worthless.
Out of Touch
The difference is that while one will be aware of how they feel about themselves, the other person will have disconnected from how they feel about themselves. That hasn’t caused this part of them to disappear though, and this is why they need to put other people down.
If they no longer behaved in the same way, they would have to come into contact with how they feel about themselves. It is then a case of elevating themselves above others and feeling good or embracing how they feel and feeling completely flawed.
What this can show is that they experienced some kind of abuse during their younger years, and this would have stopped them from being able to develop a strong sense of self. If one is used to attracting people like this into their life, they may have had a similar experience when they were younger.
The sooner one does something about what is taking place, the sooner their life will change. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.