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While one could be in a position where they are able to listen to their own needs, there is also the chance that they are unable to do so. If they are able to pay attention to what is taking place within them, it will show that this is what feels safe.
True-Self One is going to be in touch with who they are and there will be no reason for them to please other people. The reason this shows that this is what feel safe is because if this wasn’t the case, it wouldn’t be possible for them to behave in this way. What this shows is how important it is for someone to feel safe enough to be themselves. When this is in place, one won’t need to put on an act and to be someone they are not. The Outcome So, through being this way, one’s relationships are likely to be very fulfilling. The people who they are close to are going to know who they are and, as one is this way, there is a strong chance that these people are also in touch with themselves. One is going to be expressing their true-self and they won’t need to worry about whether these people like them or not. These people will know who they are and they will be in their life; this will prove that they accept them. In The Beginning If one is at a point in their life where they are looking to start a new relationship, it is going to be a lot easier for them to find someone to be with. Not only will they reveal who they are when they meet someone, but they will also attract (and be attracted to) people who accept themselves. What this comes down to is that human beings don’t just ‘randomly’ come into contact with certain people. There is a reason why this takes place; the trouble is that this is a process that often happens unconsciously. Two Sides When one feels safe enough to be themselves, they will also feel safe around people who accept them. Thus, if they were to come into contact with someone who didn’t respond to them in this manner, there would be no reason for them to stay in their company. One wouldn’t feel conformable and this might give them the urge to end the interaction. Ultimately, this will show that one is working with themselves as opposed to against themselves. Not the End of the World If they were to meet someone who they have a connection with, they could end up taking things further. But even if they do like the person they have met, they are not going to have the need to impress them. This is may mean that they wont come across as needy, and this will then stop them from pushing the other person away. And as they don’t need to please them, it will allow them to stand their ground. Boundaries What this means it that they will have the ability to say yes and no, and they will be able to use each word at the right moment. Now, this doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to be flexible; it means that they won’t allow others to walk over them. Through being this way, they may find that they are able to accept that other people are not always going to go along with what they want. It could be clear to them that this is something that is just part of life. A Positive Impact And as they are able to draw the line, the people in their life will see that they value themselves. The people who they come into contact with for the first time will also pick up on this. Naturally, this is going to stop them from having to experience a lot of drama in their life. However, when one is unable to listen to their own needs, it is going to be a different story altogether. One Focus Their main priority will be to do everything they can to fulfil other people needs, and this is likely to affect every area of their life. Other people could believe that this is who they are, but this is going to be nothing more than a reflection of their false-self. When they spend time around their friends, their needs are going to be put to one side, and if they are in a relationship, it is unlikely to be any different. One is going to be more like an extension of others than a separate human being. A Door Mat There is going to be no reason for other people to respect them; they could wonder why they don’t listen to their own needs and stand their ground. It would be inaccurate to say that everyone will be like this though, as there will be people who are only too happy to take advantage of them. At a deeper level, behaving in this way is going to be what feels safe, and this is why one is experiencing life in this way. If they were to get in touch with what is taking place in their body, they may find that they have a fear of being rejected. Emotional Regulation Doing what other people want (and what they think they want) is then a way for them to have people in their life and to control how they feel. One is likely to believe that they would end up being rejected if they were to pay attention to their own needs and feelings. What this can show is that one had to please their caregiver/s during their early years; this would have been a matter of survival. This would have set them up to feel ashamed of their own needs. Awareness There can be the fear of being rejected and one can also carry the trauma of being rejected when they were younger. It is then not just something they fear, it is something that has already happened. If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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