What is clear is that although some people have relationships that are fulfilling, there are others who don’t. And while this can mean that they end up with people who are not right for them, it could also mean that they end up with people who are abusive.
If one has the tendency to end up with people who are not right for them, this is likely to cause them to experience a lot of frustration. In addition to this, they could feel powerless, and as though they have no control over this area of their life.
On the other hand, if one is used to attracting people who are abusive, they could feel even worse. Along with feeling powerless, one could be in a position where they feel extremely worthless.
Thus, when one continually ends up with people who are not right for them, it is going to create problems. And as far as they are concerned, this could be seen as being as bad as it can get.
If they were to talk to their friends about what has been taking place for them, they could also agree. But if one doesn’t have this outlook, it could show that they realise this area of their life could be even worse.
When it comes to someone who is used to ending up with people who are abusive, it is naturally going to cause them to experience a lot of pain. And as they experience life in this way, they might hope that it doesn’t get any worse.
Their friends could wonder why one has these kinds of people in their life, and so they might spend a lot of time worrying about them. At the same time, a number of their friends could also be in the same position.
The Same Story
Now, regardless of whether one has been with a number of people who are not right for them or people who are abusive, they might decide to take a step back from this area of their life. This could be seen as something that will allow them to find someone who is different.
And after taking a break, they may find that they end up with someone who is exactly the same as the last person they were with. One can then come to believe that they are a victim, and that there is nothing they can do to change their life.
What this can then show is that one is out of touch with their anger, or that they rarely embrace this side of their nature. As a result of this, it then causes them to fall down, so to speak.
Their emotional self will have collapsed, and this is then why they feel as though they have no control over what is taking place. Yet if this doesn’t take place and one is able to embrace their anger, they will be able to feel different.
Through embracing their anger, one could feel as though they can do something about what is taking place in their life. Their anger will then have given them the confidence and the fuel to move forward.
There could be moments when they collapse and feel like a victim, and moments when they are able to embrace their anger and feel as though they can change their life. If one can only do this every now and then, it could still give the chance to experience life differently.
What will also help is if one is able to take a step back from how they feel and to look into what they can do to change their circumstances. As if they were to become consumed by their anger and it wasn’t possible for them to use it in a constructive manner, their life could end up staying the same.
Through feeling energised, they could find a book that will help them to understand why they are experience life in this way. And/or, they could find a therapist who will allow them to look into what is taking place within them and to gradually work through it.
Alternatively, one could have moments when they get angry, but they might not take the time to look into why they are experiencing life in this way. It is then not going to matter what part they are playing in all this, as they will blame the people they have been with.
What could also take place is that one could say that all men/women are the same, and one is then going to see themselves as being nothing more than an observer of their reality. Therefore, one just happens to end up with people who are not right for them or who are abusive.
Through being this way, it will allow one to feel good about themselves, and they will be able to direct their anger at all men/women. They might even end up joining some kind of movement, and this will make them feel even better.
One will see their sex as being the victims and the opposite sex will be seen as the perpetrators. This can then allow one to feel as though they are morally superior, and they can come to believe that the opposite sex is not as evolved or developed.
But while there are going to be people out there who have the same experiences as they do, it doesn’t mean that all me/women are the same. If anything, it can simply show that these people have the same issues as they do.
The trouble with believing that all men/women are the same is that it is not going to allow one to change their life. In order for this to take place, one will need to take responsibility for what is going on within them.
When it comes to the kind of experiences one has with men/women, it typically relates to what took place when they were younger. So, if this area of their life is not working, it might be a good idea for them to look into what took place when they were younger.
Through doing this, it can allow them to work through the pain that is within them and to heal themselves. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
To book your free 15-minute consultation, click here.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
Child Abuse And Neglect - How To Heal From Child Abuse And Neglect