If one wanted to find out what someone is like, they could take the time to get to know them. And, after they have spent a certain amount of time in their presence, they might feel as though they have a good understanding of them.
Time could then pass and one might not be too surprised by how they behave, or they could find that another side of them begins to appear. What this could show is that they feel more at ease around them, and this is why this is taking place.
During this time, the other person might show that they are not as tough as they make out, for instance. Thus, they are going to show that they have a sensitive side, and this could cause one to warm to them even more.
Or, one could find that even though they come across as confident, this could be nothing more than an illusion. Behind the act that they put on is going to be someone who finds it hard to believe in themselves.
At the same time, one could have a radically different experience, and this means that they could end up being repelled by the other person. What this could come down to is that they have started to come across as abusive.
They will have changed from someone who had a positive effect on their life, to someone who is having a negative effect on their life. It might then be in their best interest to cut their ties and to walk away.
The Direct Route
What this shows is how it is not always possible for find out what someone is like by getting to know them directly. This comes down to the fact that it is easy for someone to put on an act and to pretend they are someone else.
If one ends up in a position like this, it can be normal for them to see themselves as a victim. Therefore, one just happened to cross paths with this person and there was nothing that they could have done.
A Random Process
Yet while it might appear this way, it doesn’t mean that this is the complete truth. When it comes to the people who one attracts (and is attracted to), it is typically due to what is taking place within them.
However, if one is out of touch with what is taking place within them, they are not going to be able to realise this. The information that they need, in order to understand what is taking place, is not going to be available.
So, if one wants to meet people who are healthy, it will be vital for them to deal with their own baggage. Now, this is a process and so it won’t happen overnight, but it will be worth it in the long run.
This is not to say that one will need to avoid people while they are doing this; what it comes down to is that they will be taking responsibility for what shows up and dealing with it. And through doing this, it will allow them to attract people who are healthy.
But when it comes to finding out what someone is like, one can also find out about the people they like to spend time with. This is likely to be their friends and their partner, if they have one.
These people are going to reveal a lot about them, and this is because they are in their life for a reason. If someone didn’t have anything in common with these people, they wouldn’t be in their life.
When someone comes across in a positive manner and the people in their life are the same, it could be said that this will be a good sign. Not only will they come across as someone who values themselves, they will also be surrounded by people who are the same.
Still, one will need to make sure that they do value themselves and that this is not just an act. As there is the chance that they have an inflated sense of self, and the people in their life could be the same.
On the other hand, someone could come across as though they have it all together, but they could be surrounded by people who clearly have issues. One could then find it hard to believe why someone like this would spend time with people who are not going anywhere with their life.
Along with this, someone could do a lot for their friends and their friends might not return the favour. This is going to show that their relationships are generally one-sided, and they are going to be more like a parent than a friend.
What’s going on?
What this is likely to illustrate is that how this person comes across doesn’t match up with what is taking place within them. At a deeper level, they might feel worthless, and this is why they spend time with people like this.
And as they feel this way, it is going to stop them from being able to embrace their needs. They will try to get their needs met indirectly by being there for them, and this could mean that they have the tendency to rescue others.
When someone experiences life in this way, it will be important for them to realise that they are not worthless. Once this takes place and they feel comfortable with their needs, they will no longer need to have one-sided relationships.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. And if one is drawn to the wrong kind of people, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.