When one says something to someone, it doesn’t mean that they will listen to what they have to say. What they could do is focus on what they have to say and wait until one has finished talking.
In One Ear and Out the Other
As a result of this, one may as well have been talking to themselves; the person in front of them is not interested in what they have to say. This person’s priority will be to express what is on their mind.
Once this has taken place it might be possible for them to listen to what one has to say. Then again, there is also the chance that their behaviour won’t change, and that they will continue to behave in the same way.
It could then be said that they will be focused on their own need and this is then why they are unable to think about ones needs. One person’s needs are going to be met but the other person’s needs are going to be overlooked.
If one doesn’t know this person or rarely spends time with them, this might not have much of an effect on their life. However, if they spend a lot of time around someone like this, it might be a lot harder for them to tolerate it.
Part of Life
Still, there are likely to be moments in everyone’s life when they are more concerned with speaking than they are with listening. This can happen when someone is going through a challenging time or if they have just had a powerful experience, for instance.
But this is not going to be the same as when someone has the tendency to ignore what other people have to say and even talks over them. What is clear is that this person is out of balance.
A Means to an End
In general, they are only going to listen to what another person has to say so that they can talk. And even when this takes place, there are going to be moments when they cut people off.
The trouble is that if they are completely caught up with their own needs, it is going to stop them from being able see the effect that their behaviour is having on others. Their relationships can end up getting worse, and they can push a lot of people away.
What they could find is that people don’t stay in their life for very long, and that most of the people in their life don’t talk much. At the same time, what they could also find is that they know people who talk over them.
Yet, unless they are aware of the fact that they do this, they might believe that these people are the ones with the problem. When in reality, one is simply getting a taste of their own medicine, so to speak.
During the moments when they are the ones who are being walked over, they may find that they feel overwhelmed. The other person is just going to take over and it can be as if there is nothing they can do.
If this is how they feel, it will give them an idea of what someone can go through when they don’t listen. In order for this to take place, one will need to take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour.
When one doesn’t listen to what another person has to say, it is not going to have a positive effect on them. They could come to believe that one doesn’t value what they have to say and that they don’t value them as a person.
Ultimately, they are likely to feel invalidated, and this is going to have a negative effect on their wellbeing. And as they are being treated in this way, there is going to be no reason for them to care about what one has to say either.
A Build Up
If something like this happens every now and then, it might cause someone to feel frustrated and angry. Even so, how they feel should pass and it shouldn’t have a negative effect on their relationship.
On the other hand, if this was to happen on a regular basis, this might not take place. Instead, they could start to resent the other person, and this can end up destroying their relationship.
The Fall Out
There is the chance that they will be aware of how they feel, or they could up disconnecting from it. This might then cause them to seek revenge without even being aware of what they are doing.
They might no longer make contact with them, or they could simply ignore the other person when they try to contact them. Another way to look at this would be to say that one will be behaving in a passive aggressive manner.
This shows how important it is for someone to listen to what other people have to say; that is if they want to have fulfilling relationships. When this happens, their body language is likely to be different and they will actually pay attention to what is being said, which will allow them to ask questions and to offer feedback.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
To book your free 15-minute consultation, click here.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.