Although relationships can be based on give and take, they can also be out of balance. When this happens, one person can give and another person can take, and this is going to lead to problems.
However, this is not to say that either of these people will realise that they are out of balance, as it could be something that is outside of their awareness. If one is used to giving more than they receive, it could be how their life has always been.
And if one is used to receiving more than they give, this could also be how their life has been for as long as they can remember. The person who always gives could be fed up with what is taking place, but the person who always receives could have a radically different experience.
Part of Life
Yet even though one person can be in a position where they have had enough of being taken advantage of, it doesn’t mean that they will do anything about it. For one thing, they could believe that it is just how life is.
On the other hand, the other person can be used to getting what they want and so they might not see any reason why they should change. This is then part of their life and they will be happy for it to continue.
As a result of this, the person who gives is more likely to reach out for support than the person who receives. This is because they are not going to be happy with how their life is; whereas the kind of experience that the other person has can stop them from doing anything.
In fact, they could believe that other people should take care of their needs, and there will then be no reason for them to change. So if other people have a problem with their behaviour, it could be normal for them to dismiss it.
A High Turnover
Through being indifferent to the needs of others, it can mean that they don’t have the same people in their life for very long. In the beginning someone might not realise what is taking place and then as time passes, it could soon become clear.
But even if this did have a negative effect on them, it could be an experience that soon passes. They could believe that there is nothing wrong with their behaviour, and that other people are the problem.
When one is used having people in their life who generally take, they could find that the same people stay around. Now, this is not to say that they are always there; what it can come down to is that they may have been in one’s life for quite some time.
At times, one might not hear form them for a few months, and at other times, they could hear from them a few times in the same week, for instance. The reason they stay around is not because they appreciate them, it is because they know they will be there to meet their needs.
From Time To Time
There could be moments when one does receive things from these kinds of people, but even if they do, it is unlikely to make up for everything they have given up until that point. Nevertheless, it could be seen as a big gesture in their eyes, and they could expect to receive something back.
In fact, this could be something that only takes place when they want one to do something for them. It could mean doing something straight after, or they might expect something a few days later.
One way of looking at this would be to say that one only hears from these people when they want something. It then won’t matter if they want to spend time with them or need their help, as it won’t be possible.
It can then appear as though they no longer live in the same area, or seem as though they have left the planet. In reality, they are probably taking advantage of someone else, and until this changes, they could be out of reach.
Alternatively, one could get in touch with them to see how they are doing and they could answer their question/s, but that could be as far as it goes. They are then happy to extend themselves as one is giving their energy to them and yet they are not willing to return the favour.
One is then making the effort to see how they are doing, but they are going to be wasting their energy. There is also the chance that they will ask how they are and say about meeting in a few days or in a week.
After the time has passed, one could find that they can’t get hold of them, or they may say that they forgot all about it. They could say that they will contact them and then this doesn’t take place.
Clearly, these are things that can happen from time to time, but this is not what is being spoken about here. What this relates to is when this is something that happens on a regular basis.
When one is using to having people in their life who behave in this way, it will be important for them to think about whether they won’t to put up with it any longer. As all the time they put up with this behaviour, there is going to be no reason for these people to change.
It might also be necessary for one to look into why they put up with, as this could be a sign that they don’t value themselves. Therefore, if they started to feel better about themselves, they might no longer put up with this kind of behaviour, and this would then create the space for them to attract people who are different.
When this comes to changing how one feels about themselves, it might be necessary for them to work with a therapist. Or they could read up about this area and apply what they learn.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.