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If one wanted to buy something in the past, they would have had to go out and get it; nowadays, this is no longer necessary. The only thing one needs to do is to go on their device, and once they have found what they want, there is a strong chance that it will even be delivered.
As a result, one can have something without needing to go out into the world. One could buy something in this way because they are too busy to go out, or it could come down to the fact that they want to relax instead. Control Through having this option, it means that one has more control than they did before, and their time can then be used in other ways. On one hand, this time could be used in ways that will enhance their life, and on the other hand, it could be used in ways that don’t. If one was to play games or to browse the internet, for instance, it might allow them to experience some downtime. But at the same time, these kinds of activities could have the opposite effect, and one could wonder where their time has gone. A Personal Decision Ultimately, one can decide how they will use their time, and even though one person might think something is a waste of time, it doesn’t mean another person has the same outlook. If one is not causing harm, it shouldn’t matter what they do. Along with having the ability to buy something online, one can also meet someone online. Therefore, the time that they would have spent looking for someone in the real world can be used in other ways. Caught Up However, although one can save time, there is also the chance that one could spend just as much time looking for someone online as they would in the real world. When this happens, one could end up neglecting other areas of their life in order to meet someone. Not only can this take place through spending time on a dating site; it could also take place through going on endless dates. For example, one could invest a lot of time in someone and come to believe that they are a match, and once they have met them, their whole outlook could change. Mismatch If this takes place, the idea they have of someone is not going to match up to what they are really like, and this is likely to be frustrating. This could be a sign that the other person was putting on an act. Yet this might not be the case, and it could be said that there is always the chance that this will happen. When one meets someone in person, they are going to be in their presence and when they talk to someone over a screen or over the phone, this is not going to be the case. Information Through being in their presence, one can pick up information that they wouldn’t pick up on if they were only hearing their voice or reading words on a screen. This information can also influence them at a deeper level, and this means they might not even be aware of why they feel the way they do around them. If one doesn’t feel comfortable in the other person’s presence, it could be because they are not right for them; however, it could also be a sign that they are triggering something that one has disconnected from. When this happens, their need to get away from the other is going to be a way for them to avoid what has been triggered within themselves. Self-Awareness How one responds to what is taking place within them is likely to depend on how aware they are. If one believes that their inner experience is being caused by the other person, they are unlikely to take a deeper look at what is taking place. But when one is able to see that the other person is only triggering what is already within them, it will give them the chance to pay attention to how they feel. Through doing this, it will give them the opportunity to grow. Intention However, regardless of whether they face what is within them, it is going to be clear that they are looking for a relationship. They are not going to be on a dating site because they have got nothing else to do. There are going to be other people who use dating sites for other reasons, and one reason could be because they are looking for attention. When this happens, the impression their profile creates is not going to match up with their true intention. One Step Further This is not to say that they won’t message people back, for instance, as they could still do this. They could even talk to people on the phone, and they might even go on a few dates. Through doing this, it will allow them to receive even more attention, and they might not even think about the effect their behaviour is having on others. Based on how they behave, other people could get the impression that they are looking for a relationship, but this is going to be nothing more than an illusion. Attention If one needs attention, it could be a sign that they have just been through a breakup, and through getting certain responses from others, it will then allow them to feel good about themselves. There is also the chance that they are in a relationship that isn’t going to plan, and other people will then be used to give them the attention that their partner is not providing. One might also find it hard to feel good about themselves without other peoples approval, and in this case, a dating site can be seen as something that can be used to make them feel good. Either way, one is going to be consumed by their need for attention and out of touch with the impact their behaviour is having on others. Behind A Screen One reason why one won’t think about how their behaviour is affecting others can be because they are behind a screen. On one hand, they are not going to see how other people are responding, and on the other hand, they are unlikely to be emotionally connected to what is taking place. Whereas if they were around real people, it would give them the chance to see how their behaviour is affecting others, and they are more likely to have an emotional response to what is happening. Through being behind a screen, one can then be oblivious to consequences of their actions. Awareness It would be easy for one to say that this kind of behaviour is harmless; but if they are using a dating site for attention, they are going to be deceiving others. If one was to put themselves in other person’s shoe, and to think about how they would feel, it might give them a different perspective. Another approach would be for them to look for another way to receive attention, and this could also be a sign that they need to work on themselves. Through doing this, they might no longer need to receive so much attention.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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