Relationships: Do Some Women's Childhood's Set Them Up To Attract Submissive Men?

There are some women who attract men who are in touch with their masculine strength, while there are others who don’t. As a result of this, their experiences with the opposite sex are going to be very different.

One Experience

If a woman is used to being with men who are in touch with their masculine strength, it can mean that she is used to having fulfilling relationships. When she is with man who is like this, she is unlikely to feel like his mother.

Perhaps she will feel as though she has met her equal; someone who is at her level. This will mean that she will be able to be there for him and he will be able to be there for her.

Self-Expression

Not only will she be able to express herself around him, he will also be able to do the same thing. Said another way, there will be no reason for either of them to please each other and to neglect their own needs.

So, even though they will be in a relationship, they won’t need to lose themselves and to play a role. The woman will feel safe enough to express her femininity and the man will feel safe enough to express his masculinity.

Integrated Human Beings

Along with this, the woman will also feel safe enough to embrace her masculine aspect and the man will feel safe enough to express his feminine aspect. This is why the woman will be able to stand her ground and the man will be able to express how he feels, for instance.

And as they both feel comfortable with their inner masculine and feminine, there will be a lot less conflict in their relationship. If, on the other hand, they had issues with their inner masculine and feminine, this would cause problems in their relationship.

Self-Awareness

Yet, even if they do have issues within them, they will have the ability to step back and to reflect, thereby allowing themselves to work through whatever arises. This will allow them to take responsibility for their own issues.

When a woman ends up with men like this, or is currently with a man like this, it could show that she had done a fair amount of work on herself. If this is the case, she will have worked for it; it won’t have just happened.

A Different Reality

Conversely, if a woman is used to being with men who are not in touch with their masculine strength, it can mean that she is used to having unfulfilling relationships. There is the chance that she is currently with a man like this at the moment.

She is unlikely to feel as though she has met her equal; it could seem as though she is with a boy. This is someone who is unlikely to stand his ground, and he could do just about everything he can to please her.

A Weak Man

Now, this will allow her to fulfil certain needs, but what it won’t do is allow her to respect the man that she is with. Deep down, she will have the need to be with a man who does stand up for himself and doesn’t just act like a door mat.

If the man is angry about something, he will probably act in a passive aggressive manner or he might completely lose control. Therefore, it is not going to be possible for him to listen to how he feels and then to act assertively.

Two Sides

Consciously, being with a man like this can cause a woman to feel frustrated and angry, but at a deeper level, this can be what feels safe. In the same way, experiencing life in this way can cause a man to feel angry and powerless, but deep down; it can also be what feels safe.

When it comes to the man, what this can show is that his mother emasculated him, with her fear of men being at the root. Additionally, his father might not have been emotionally available or he might not have even been around.

Staying Small

His mother may have been with abusive men and/or she may have been abused by her father when she was growing up. Thus, in order for her to keep her fear of men/trauma at bay, she did what she could to stop her son from being able to grow up.

This is not to say that she did this consciously, though, as it is likely to have taken place without her even realising it. Consequently, her son would have grown up to fear his own masculinity and to have the need to please women.

Staying Safe

When it comes to the woman, there is the chance that she was brought up by a father who was abusive. Being with a man who is completely out of touch with his masculine strength will then allow her to keep her fear of men/trauma at bay.

The image that she presents to the world could be one of strength and competence, but at a deeper level, she could feel like a traumatised child. A submissive man is not going to be what she truly wants, but she won’t have to feel like she did as a child when she is with him.

Looking Within

What this shows is how someone’s early childhood experiences influence how they experience life as an adult. The trouble is that as time passes, someone can lose touch with what happened and disconnect from how they felt, which can cause them to project their issues onto other people.

This will stop them from being able to see that what they see ‘out there’ is simply a reflection of what is going on within them. Without this understanding, it can be normal for someone to blame the opposite gender for all their problems.
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Awareness

If a man or woman can relate to what has been said above, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by a therapist or a healer. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk