There are women in the world who will be only too happy to surrender to a man, while there are women out there who won’t. As a result of this, these women are going to have radically different expectations.
Therefore, there will be what the first group of women look for and then there are going to be what the second group of women look for. But, regardless of what view a woman has, this could be how she has been for quiet some tome.
The First Type
When it comes to a woman who is happy to surrender to a man, it won’t mean that she will want a man to dominate and even abuse her. What it will mean is that she will be willing to give herself over to a man, without needing to be in control of what happens.
This is not just going to be any man; it will be a man who she is able to trust and who respects her. The woman will then choose to be in this position, which means that she will also be able to take a step back if she needs to.
The Key Ingredients
Clearly, then, this is something that can only take place if a woman and a man are in the right place. If the man is deeply insecure, has the need to control the woman and lacks maturity, he will most likely end up abusing the trust that has been given to him.
On the other hand, if the woman is also deeply insecure and is unable to fully trust a man, it won’t be possible for her to fully let go. It will be as if someone behind her is asking her to drop back, but she won’t be able to do so.
Once these parts are more or less in place, a woman will be able to let go and the man will typically be able to handle the power that he has been given. It will then be up to him to lead and to make the right decisions.
This won’t be about him doing what he wants and completely disregarding the woman’s needs; it will be about him being aware of what the woman needs and doing what he can to fulfil her needs. And, when the man acts in this way, it will allow the woman to take a break and to drop into her feminine side.
A Welcome Relief
There is the chance that when it comes to other areas of her life, she will spend a fair amount of time exercising her masculine element. Whether it relates to making decisions at work or having other things to do, her feminine element will be pushed aside.
Taking this into account, when a woman surrenders to a man, it doesn’t mean that her masculine element will be cast aside forever. There will be moments when she utilizes this part of her being and moments when she doesn’t.
The Second Type
When it comes to a woman who is not interested in surrendering to a man, it can be due to what has happened in the past. Perhaps she has given herself over to men, only to be taken advantage of.
Her feminine side could then be seen as a weakness, and she may have even lost touch with this part of her being. If she was to get into a relationship, it could be with a man who has just about lost touch with his masculine side.
From the outside, it could seem as though the woman is like a mother and the man is like a son. And, even though being with a man like this will allow her to stay in control, it doesn’t mean that she will be happy deep down.
Even though she will have chosen a man like this, she could still complain that he doesn’t stand his ground and lacks backbone. It will then be as though she has ordered a meal and once it arrives, she will complain that it’s the wrong meal.
In order for a woman like this to have a fulfilling relationship, it is likely that she will need to look into what is taking place within her and to heal her inner wounds. However, while there will be women out there who can no longer surrender to a man due to what has taken place in their past, there will be plenty of women who do even though they have been treated badly time and time again.
It could then be said that not only will they attract the wrong type of men, they will also lack the ability to know if a man is a decent human being. One approach would be for them to focus purely on the signs that a man like this displays – the red flags.
Another approach would be for them to look into why they are continually drawn to men who want to take advantage of them. At a conscious level, being with a man like this is going to cause them to suffer, but unconsciously, it is likely to be what feels safe.
This might be hard for them to accept, especially as it will have felt anything but safe to be with a man like this. Even so, the reason that being with a man like this feels safe is likely to be the result of what took place during their early years.
Back In Time
At this time in their life, they may have been brought up by at least one caregiver who abused them in some way. They would have been incredibly vulnerable, yet this caregiver wouldn’t have been able to treat them in the right way.
The trouble is that even though this time in their life would have been very traumatising, it would have come to be associated as what is familiar to their ego mind and to this part of them, what is familiar is classed as what is safe. It is then going to be perfectly normal for them to recreate what took place during their early years, even though it caused them so much pain.
What this illustrates is how much of an effect someone’s early years can have on their adult life. Until someone looks into what happened and deals with their inner wounds, they will continue to play out what took place when they were younger.
If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.