It could be said that just about everyone on this planet judges others from time to time. However, one of the main differences is that some people are more judgmental than others.
Along with this, not everyone judges others in the same way. What this means is that one person could have the tendency to judge how other people look, while another could focus on how they behave.
At the same time, someone could judge just about everything and not limit it to one area of another person’s life. And when someone is extremely judgemental, it can be hard for the people around them to enjoy their company.
An Unpleasant Experience
They might find it hard to relax or to be themselves, as they will know that it won’t be long until this person finds someone or something to pull down. Yet, even if they were to say something to them, it doesn’t mean that anything would change.
What comes out of their mouth could be dismissed and it might even cause them to be judged. It will then be clear that this person is not willing to change their behaviour, and this is likely to show that they believe that they are doing the right thing.
Pointing Out the Obvious
They could say that they are simply expressing what other people think but don’t talk about. As a result of this, they might not even see themselves as being judgmental; if anything, they may believe that they ability to see clearly.
If this is the case, it will be in one’s best interest to limit the amount of time that they spend with someone like this, or to cut their ties all together. Having said all this, if someone is very judgmental, they could also spend time with people who are no different.
The people in their life are then going to support their behaviour, and this person will support the behaviour of the people around them. What causes them to believe that they are right comes down to the fact that other people have the same outlook.
The fact that this doesn’t prove that they are right is irrelevant, and there is going to be no reason for them to take a step back and to reflect on their own behaviour. It would be easy to believe that someone like this only causes other people to suffer and that they feel good about themselves.
If one was to listen to what goes on in this persons mind, they are likely to be in for a shock; that is, if they believe that this person feels good about themselves. What they are likely to find is that the suffering they inflict on others is not different to the suffering they inflict on themselves.
Putting other people down is then a way for them to elevate themselves and, unless their inner world changes, they are unlikely to change their behaviour. Therefore, if they were to become less judgemental without changing what is going on within them, they would probably feel even worse.
For example, if one was to always talk about how useless or incompetent other people are, this could show that they always feel as though they are not good enough. What they say to others is then no different to what they say to themselves.
But what could make this hard to see is that one could act as though they are highly competent. There is also the chance that they are competent, which could show that the negative voice within them has made them work extremely hard.
A Human Doing
What this can then show is that they believe that their value is based on what they do and not on who they are. Being good at something and achieving things will then be way for them to try to feel as though they have value.
However, while this will be how some people define their value, there will be others who define it in other ways. So, this may mean that they believe their value is based on how they look or how much money they have.
If it relates to how they look, it may mean that they are physically attractive, or it might not. Either way, it can then be normal for one to believe that someone’s value depends on what they look like.
One can then see other people as objects, and this can be how they see themselves. It won’t matter that their value, along with everyone else’s value, is based on who they are and not on what they look like.
In all of these cases and numerous others, one can be so caught up in a perspective that it is not possible for them to see that what they believe is not the truth. Their value is inherent; it doesn’t depend on what they look like, how much money they have, how competent they are, or anything else for that matter, and the same applies to the people who they come into contact with.
When it comes to how one judges themselves, and how this causes them to judge others, what took place during their early years can play a part. The way in which their caregivers spoke to them may have been internalised.
It is then not going to matter if their caregivers are not longer on this planet, as these people will live inside their own head. These experiences would have caused one to create certain believes about themselves and the world.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.