When it comes to talking to people that one’s knows and gets on with, there is not going to be any thought as to whether one will be accepted by them. And this is because at a deeper level they know that the other person accepts them.
So unless there is so kind of tension or something significant that has taken place, one is going to feel at ease with the other person. And as they feel at ease, it is then going to have an impact on how they feel and behave around the other person.
The other person’s behaviour is also going to be influenced by how one behaves; this is because human beings are interdependent. And while it can seem as though one has no control when it comes to how other people treat them, this is nothing more than an illusion.
However, when one meets someone for the first time, it is not as clear as to whether they will be accepted. One hasn’t had the chance to find out if they will be accepted or if it is possible to build a connection with the other person.
And while one is not going to be accepted by everyone they meet, they are also not going to be rejected by everyone they meet. Human beings are different and it is not possible for one to be accepted by everyone they meet.
This doesn’t mean that they are ‘bad’ people or that it is not possible for one to be accepted; it is just part of life. Just as when one doesn’t accept another person, it doesn’t make them bad and this is because it is not possible for them to accept everyone.
So even though one won’t be accepted by everyone they meet, this doesn’t mean that one is therefore a passive observer in the whole process. How one behaves when they speak to someone for the first time will have a big impact on whether they are accepted or not.
If someone has acted the same way and has ended up with the same results for most of their life, it might be a challenge for them to understand this. They might believe that what has happened it their life and what continues to happen is a reflection of who they are.
And when one has experienced something over and over again, it is to be expected that it will be taken to heart. This is why it is so important to be able to detach from ones experiences and to see the part that one is playing in what is taking place.
This will allow one to see that it is not personal; it is simply a reflection of what they believe and the behaviour that these beliefs create. For if one is not aware of their behaviour, what happens in their life is going to seem random and out of their control.
And if one was to think that their expectations are having no affect on whether they are accepted or rejected by others, they would be wrong. The expectations that one has are going to define not only ones behaviour, they are also going to play a part in how one filters the other person’s behaviour.
So one is going to have existing expectations and this will shape their behaviour in the beginning of the interaction. But as they interpret the other person’s behaviour and this will happen consciously and unconsciously, their behaviour will also be shaped by what they see.
A Closer Look
If one believes that other people generally accept them, this is going to come through when they meet someone for the first time. Their beliefs are going to shape how they feel, their body language and facial expressions, and the words they use and how they interpret the other person’s behaviour.
One could believe that other people are friendly, open, warm and approachable. And through having these beliefs, one’s body language is going to be open, their facial expressions are going to be welcoming and they are likely to interpret the others persons behaviour in a positive way.
The people they meet are likely to mirror this behaviour and this validates the beliefs they have about other people. It is then a positive cycle and their beliefs are affirmed each time they are accepted by others. And due to these beliefs, if one isn’t accepted it might just be put down to the other person having a day or seen as one off.
The Opposite Outlook
When one expects other people to reject them, it is going to be because they have different beliefs. Here, one could believe that other people are cold, don’t want to talk to them or that one is not interesting, amongst other things.
Their body language and facial expressions are going to be completely different to the person who expects to be accepted. And one could interpret another person’s behaviour in a way that is negative and disempowering; causing them to see things that are not there.
A Negative Cycle
This could mean that one doesn’t talk to people very often but when they do, the experiences that they have could validate their beliefs about what other people are like. It is then negative cycle and one that could define their life.
And if one is accepted, they might view themselves as being lucky and believe that what happened was out of their control. To have this outlook is not going to enable one to realise that this doesn’t have to be an irregular occurrence and that it can become part of their life.
So each person is going to be emitting a different energetic resonance. One will need to become aware of what their expectations are and then to challenge them. There is also the chance that one has had experiences in the past that were painful and these caused them to create the expectations that are now limiting their life.
In this case, the emotional experiences of the past may have stayed trapped in their body and therefore needs to be faced and released. As this happens, one will begin to feel different and their behaviour will then change. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.