If one was to think about their career, they may find that they do something that really matters to them. And if they were to think about what their relationships are like, they may also find that this area of their life is just as fulfilling.
It could be said that this will be the ideal scenario, as one is likely to feel as though they are on the right track in life. However, if only one of these areas was going to plan, their life wouldn’t be the same.
Out of Balance
One could have a fulfilling career but they could find that their relationships are not very fulfilling. This is then likely to mean that they work more than they should, and that they won’t have anyone to share their life with.
The reason they can work harder is because this can be a way for them to avoid how they feel, and there is the chance that one is used to feeling lonely and disconnected. The support, validation, and care, amongst other things, that other people would provide is not going to be available.
There could be people who see them as being extremely successful, and they could even look up to them. But beyond what they have achieved, there is likely to be the sense that something is missing.
The pain that is within them might have a played a big part in how far they have been able to go in this area of their life. So although they are doing well in this area in their life, they are going to want to have people in their life that they can connect with.
The Other Way
On the other hand, one could have people who they are close to, but their career could be going in the wrong direction. In fact, this area of their life could something that they have overlooked for a long time.
One is then going to have a number of people around them who care about them, but they will feel as though something is missing. Something within them will have the need to be heard, and until they are able to listen to this part of themselves, they will continue to suffer.
Even so, one could believe that they should be happy with how their life is, and that they shouldn’t expect to have all of their needs met. If something like this is taking place within them, it will be vital for them to look into why they believe this.
As there is going to be no reason why they shouldn’t have close friends and a fulfilling career. And if one does have a fulfilling career, there is going to be no reason why they can’t have fulfilling relationships.
A Real Connection
When one has fulfilling relationships with other people, this is going to show that they don’t hide their true-self when they are around them. One will be in touch with their needs and feelings, and this will allow them to behave in an authentic manner.
The people in their life are then going to know who they are, as opposed to a role that they play. So if there is something bothering them, or if they feel down they will be able to open up about it.
This will show that not only will they talk about what has been going in their life; there will also be moments when they share their feelings. And as they are able to do this, it will show that they don’t have the need to look a certain way.
Through being this way, the people in their life are also going to feel comfortable enough to open up. If this doesn’t take place, it could show that their relationships are out of balance.
There are going to be other people who are unable to relate to this experience, and this is because they will generally hide their true-self when they are around others. As a result of this, they will feel the need to come across in the right way.
Now, this could mean that one will come across as a people pleaser and do what other people want, but it might not. What it could also mean is that one will come across as though they have got it altogether.
Their main priority will be to gain other peoples approval, and this is why they will have to wear a mask. Thus, even though they will have people in their life, they can still feel disconnected from others.
And through having to put on act around these people, it is going to cause one to experience a lot of pressure. It won’t be possible for them to let go and relax; if they do, it could be seen as something that will cause them to be rejected and abandoned.
What this shows is that one hides their true-self in order to stop themselves from having to experience pain. At a deeper level, they can feel worthless, and this is then why they feel the need to hide who they are.
It can be as if they are only good enough if they hide themselves and pretend to be someone else. The reason one would feel this way can be due to what took place when they were younger.
A Closer Look
During this time, one may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. This would have stopped them from being able to develop in the right way, and it would have caused them to develop a false-self in the process.
Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with who they are, but this doesn’t mean that one can change how they feel by thinking differently, for instance. They may be carrying a lot of pain in their body.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give them the chance to get in touch with what is taking place within them and to work through it.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.