Relationships: Does A Lot Of Relationship Advice Encourage People To See Themselves As Powerless Victims?

Nowadays, if someone is having relationship problems, it is not going to be difficult for them to find information that goes into why this is and what they can do about it. After a basic search online, there will be thousands of videos and articles that will provide them with a lot of information.

So, at this point in time, they could be in a position where they continually attract people that are not available and/or don’t treat them very well. This could be something that they have experienced for quite some time.

One Part

After viewing a few videos and/or articles, they could come to the conclusion that most of the people they have attracted have commitment issues. They could also learn about a number of other terms that are used for people like this.

Additionally, if they have been with a number of people that haven’t treated them very well, they could come to the conclusion that these people were narcissists. These will then be people that have serious issues.

A Big Difference

After spending a little while looking into this information and gaining a deeper understanding, they could think about how different they are compared with the people they have been with. They could think about how they are ready to have a relationship and are not in any way narcissistic.

If the people they have been with are on one side of the spectrum, then, they will be on the other side of it. What this could do is allow them to feel relieved and good about themselves.

One Outcome

As it will be clear that they themselves are fine and the people that they have attracted are the ones with the issues, they could believe that they just need to be patient and hope that their luck changes. Along with this, they could continue to develop themselves and other areas of their life.

Before long, though, they could meet someone else who could be different at first but no different as time passes. This time, they will know why the other person is behaving as they are.

A Frustrating Experience

Consequently, they could end up feeling pretty helpless and hopeless, and wonder if this area of their life will ever change. But, as they will be doing the right things and attracting the wrong people, how else would they be?

Ultimately, they are going to be more informed than they were before and more developed but this area of their life won’t be any different. In order for this area of their life to change, it will be clear that they need to try another approach.

A Key Point

First, what they will need to keep in mind is that although they will want to be with someone that is available and treats them well, it doesn’t mean that every part of their being wants the same thing. The reason for this is that they don’t just begin and end with their conscious mind; they also have an unconscious mind.

And, as they want one thing and they are continually receiving something else, it is likely to show that this other, hidden part of them wants something else. Thanks to how strong this other part of them is, it won’t matter what they do to develop themselves or how informed their mind is – as will be only too clear.

Going Deeper

There is a chance that this other part of them is trying to receive the love that they missed out on during their formative years. In this case, this will illustrate that they were brought up by a parent or parents that were unable to love them.

At this stage of their life, it would have been too painful for them to face how they felt and accept that they would not be loved. Their pain and their developmental needs would then have ended up being repressed.

Recreating the past

With this in mind, this part of them will cause them to unconsciously recreate situations where they are not seen and heard and are treated badly in the hope that this time it will be different. But, as this stage of their life is over and other people are not their parents, it is too late for them to receive this love.

For them to no longer look for love in all the wrong places, they will need to face and work through this pain. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

A Creator

What this demonstrates is that while their mind can create the impression that they are merely an observer of reality, they are observing their own creation. However, most of what is showing up in their reality is coming from their unconscious mind.

Thus, they don’t just randomly end up with anyone and are far more powerful than their conscious mind would have them believe.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk