There are some women in today’s world who believe that all men are the same, and it could be said that this is nothing new. It might not be inaccurate to say that this is how it has always been, but it has certainly been this way for a little while.
However, what is different nowadays is that this is something that has gradually become part of the dominant cultural narrative. In the past, this was often just the kind of thing that some women would talk about amongst themselves.
The Main View
In order to realise this, one only needs to pick up a paper, to go on social media, or to watch TV. It is normal for these sources to talk about how all men are the same and to make out that all women are different.
This is likely to mean that all men will be portrayed in negative light and that all women will be portrayed in a positive light. There are going to be some women who see this and agree with it, whilst there will be others who won’t.
A Number of Responses
If woman does agree with this outlook, it is likely to show that this matches up with how she experiences life. What these sources come out with is then not just going to be an opinion; it will be seen as the truth.
On the other hand, when a woman doesn’t go along with what these sources come out with, it is likely to mean that it doesn’t match up with how she experiences life. There could even be some women who gradually come to believe what they are told by these sources.
A Different Reality
If a woman doesn’t believe that all men are the same, she may be in a fulfilling relationship with a man and/or have a number of male friends. Perhaps she has a father who she loves and a brother who she is close to, for instance.
If this is the case, she might not be drawn into what the midstream media and other sources are telling her about men. Then again, she might feel the need to push back against this narrative.
A woman like this could find it hard to understand how a woman could truly believe that all men are the same. In her eyes, this could be seen as an example of black and white thinking.
But even if she was to meet a woman like this and tried to find out why she has this outlook, it doesn’t mean that she would be able to get very far. The woman could end up getting defensive and even resort to an ad hominem attack.
When a woman believes that all men are the same, her experiences with men are unlikely to have been very fulfilling. If she is straight, and is not in a relationship with a man, she may have had a number of relationships that were abusive in some way.
Or, perhaps she has just been with men who didn’t treat her how she wanted to be treated. If she is in a relationship, she could be with man who she doesn’t particularly like, meaning that she would rather be single.
But regardless of whether she is currently in a relationship or not, she is unlikely to believe that she is playing a part in what takes place in this area of her life. Therefore, even if she sees herself as an ’empowered’ woman, this area of her life will be out of her control.
The type of men that she ends up with and meets in other areas of her life, are then going to be a reflection of what all men are like. Along with this, she could spend time with other women who also come into contact with men who are more or less the same, which will validate her outlook.
Her five senses will be what she pays attention to and she won’t have taken the time to step back. This is why what turns up in her reality will be seen as the truth, as opposed to a reflection of what is taking place within her.
If she was to detach from what is taking place within her and to observe her inner processes, she may gradually begin to see why she experiences life in this way. When it comes to the type of men that she meets, they are simply mirroring back what she believes about them.
A New Outlook
With this in mind, her experiences with men say more about her than they do about men. The cultural narrative, that says that all men are the same, allows certain women to avoid taking responsibility for their own life.
They don’t need to look into how their beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviour are affecting their life; instead, they can blame the gender that has been demonized for what is taking place in their life. This can then create the impression that being ‘empowered’ involves blaming others and being a victim.
A Big Lie
The only way that someone can be empowered is to take responsibility for their own life, and this involves owning both the good and the bad things that happen. Ultimately, no one is simply an observer of their reality.
Taking this into account, it is going to be vital for a woman to look into what is taking place within her, that’s if she wants to change her life. In the short-term, this could be painful, but this pain won’t last forever.
There is the chance that what took place when she was younger had a big effect on what she believes about men. This may have been a time when she was abused in some way, by her father or another family member.
It might be necessary for her to seek external support, and this is because she may be carrying trauma. This support can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.